Ocd uses that i stopped taking meds

This one is really hard cause i used to suffer with this before i started taking meds. I didnt wanted to but my therapist instead of helping me, she dealt with it like medicine will save my life...Like we never talked about what should i do differently, i always got that i should take medicine and its on me if i dont recover... and after i started taking it still we didnt worked on things deeply, it was like we are waiting to the medicine to magically solve my problem. This is very toxic and wrong. Sadly not many doctors and therpists will tell you the truth that medicine is just a helping tool, many treat it like you depend on it. So now that i stopped taking it after a year, ocd uses it and tells me im suffering now becuse i stopped taking medication, it will be worse, i should take it again... and i feel scared and guilt that it was a wrong thing to do but at the same time i know this is what i need to do to recover, i need to face my fears without medication cause thats how i can train myself to be able to live without it. Its just scary cause this is a risky thing and its hard to trust in myself that im able to do it. And ocd likes to accuse me that i will not, and now im here cause i stopped taking meds...

Amanda_Jean

Date posted: 1y

i would soooo love to be completely off medication! i've been on one thing or another for 15 years, and i hate it.. one i'm on is for anxiety, which helps the physical effects of it, but not the actual anxiety.. i'm currently trying to go down on it because it's supposed to be a short-term med and i've been on it for 14 years. i already have memory problems from being on it for so long.. the other med i'm on actually helps a ton with sensory overload, so i don't see myself getting off that one. trying a new one right now but it's super hard to know if it's helping.. i'm super excited and hopeful about my therapy on here! one and a half weeks and i meet my therapist :)

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Im happy to hear that, and i dont try to tell you to stop taking your medicine, cause i cant say that, everyone should decide on their own what they want. Im just shared my experience cause i kinda feel like i should blame the therapists that they made this ocd fear strong for me... and to say that its not what they say, youre not dependent on medicine, its good for your recovery, bit as i said its 80% about therapy, what you do in a day, how you talk to yourself and more. Its also good to make it clear cause some people put all of their hope on medicine and when it doesnt work and they change meds every month they get hopeless... this is the doctors faults, they shouldnt advertise medicines as lifesavers... i experienced this many times to when doctors tried to make me believe that the medicine what they prescribed to me made others recover, after they took it the thoughts went away, they felt good, its like the medication healed the ocd... even if its true i dont want that, thats dangerous, cause then it makes that person really dependent...

Amanda_Jean

Date posted: 1y

i completely agree. when i was younger i thought if i found the right med, everything would just disappear. i know better than that now. i'm glad i found this, since i had actually given up on therapy. nobody knew how to help with ocd, and i'm not sure if it's bad luck or something, but i've had bad experiences with all of them. the last one, where i gave up on it, just talked about her life and her vacation coming up! so glad i found this, i finally have some hope back.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

If i can help you i recomend Ali Greymond on youtube, she really knows what we have to do for recovery, if you need advice for the doing part in ocd recovery, she is very good for that, and if you need help to work more deeply about some stuff, i recomend Mark Dejesus, idk if you are religious, but maybe he can help you even if youre not. :)

Amanda_Jean

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 thanks for the recommendations! i'm starting therapy through here soon, but it might help in between sessions :)

Amanda_Jean

Date posted: 1y

i've had a terrible experience with this. every psychiatrist i've gone to hadn't talked at all about what i should be doing to actually recover from ocd, just prescribed medication. i've gone through pretty much all the ssris and quite a few alternatives like antipsychotics and bipolar medication. i can never tell if something is helping, which makes me wonder if something actually did help. it's a very uncomfortable thought.. along with that, having withdrawals from the meds i've tried makes everything way worse! the last one i tried gave me brain zaps for over a month.. one of the worst psychs i've ever gone to wrongly diagnosed me with tourette syndrome and got me addicted to xanax (the highest dose you can get) and i've been struggling for 2 years trying to go down with without much progress.. i think if when you were taking the medication, and wanted to stop because it didn't help, it means it really didn't help. it's hard not to think that way, but i think meds can only really help when paired with therapy. good therapy like nocd :)

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

I can't say it 100% that it didnt helped me at all cause i dont know what it did inside me, but i know that i still had my emotional breakdowns while i was taking it. So that's when i was thinking if its still i feel this, then it doesnt matter if im on meds or not. I started recovering and feeling better, but it wasnt because of medicine and not even therapy... its funny and sad at the same time that someone on the internet whom i dont even talk with, we doesnt have this one on one session, but still through videos could reach into my heart and change me in 2 months, than years of therapy could never done... Medication and therapy together can be good but in my opinion, people think that thats means its 50-50 when its more like 80% therapy and 20% medicine... And also i stopped cause i dont like to be dependent on a medicine, when i see alot of people recovered and live life without meds...im talking about ocd and anxiety, these things arent illnesses like cancer or diabetes that you need medicine to survive, these are learned behaviours or deep pains that you developed and you can recover from them...

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Decades of OCD..confused about my next steps!!!

I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

Please help 😭

I’m feeling really scared I’ve been left in the lurch by my therapist today as she said she doesn’t feel comfortable doing anymore therapy with me unless I increase my mirtazipine (Remeron) as my OCD has spiked a lot since I started with her and I’m only just at the beginning, but I’m not sure increasing my meds is the right thing to do so much as what she’s doing is causing it …….. basically my OCD theme is it tells me I’ve done horrendous things like I’ve harmed people, it’s in the affirmative tense not the “what if?” anymore, I guess it’s a bit like it tries to give me false memories but isn’t quite the same,and I just feel so unarmed how to deal with it and I’m really scared I’m going to end up in a very very dark place again 😭

baukje

Date posted: 12w

Obsessing about… medication

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹

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Ocd uses that i stopped taking meds

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