"Is there something i can do about this now?"

This question doesnt really help me and it makes me frustrated cause i hear others telling me to say this and then decide what to do and its not that easy, and im wondering am i the problem? Does anyone feels the same? Its just logical that if you have ocd and you overthink, this question will just make things worse... cause everytime i say this to a situation that really triggers me, my mind will come up solutions that i dont like but then i feel guilt and bad that im avoiding doing what i need to do, and i start to view it as theres a solution and im avoiding doing it. Like for an exemple that my father hurts my feelings everytime, when i feel the pain i ask "can i do something about it?" I try to choose "be stronger, learn to not care and be your best self" but this is hard and my mind goes more into "theres things you can do, move somewhere else" and i dont like this, but then because i dont like it i feel like i do it cauae i want to avoid the problem and i should do this but im avoiding the real problem, and i should move... which just triggers me more and more. This question makes me spin more, idk how it helps others and it makes me angry that it doesnt work for me or maybe it doesnt but i avoid the solution...

Mindilini

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I get it. I tried CBT from my non-OCD therapist and she was trying to help me with catastrophizing. Her tools were great, and I've already gone through OCD therapy once. So I thought I would be able to tell the difference between regular anxiety and OCD. I thought "surely this terrible bout of anxiety I'm having is not necessarily OCD, and I need additional tools". So I asked her, and she gave tools such as asking yourself: Is this logical? Is this real? Is this useful? Is this likely to happen? Let me say, none of my answers came out rational. All of my answers were somewhat uncertain but mostly conveyed that the fears I was having felt very, very real. So much so that a question like "How likely is this to happen?" ended up with the with a very uncertain "50% or more likely" because my brain just could not be rational. Asking myself questions usually doesn't help me get out of the spinning OCD mind. So maybe instead of asking yourself "can I do something about this now?" Or "can I do something about it?" You could sit with the upset feelings you have from your father and accept them, and feel them. And then say something like "maybe there's something I should do, maybe not. I have no idea." And let yourself process the feelings without having to have an answer. I'm no therapist and I'm no expert so I'm just trying to help by putting two tools together. One is feeling your feelings without judgment, and the other is accepting uncertainty. Either way, reach out to the member advocates here! They're really helpful 🙂

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Thank you, you really helped me with this

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Sometimes its just feels bad to do nothing about it. Now i can see when i have the irrational basic ocd thoughts like what if i harm someone or what if i like man, now i just know these are irrational, but when you have normal life worries that you cant differentiate between that or ocd, and if you choose its ocd and you wont do anything about it then you feel worse and worse by time... it can be anything like what should i do in this situation, am im doing something wrong, normal life stuff that arent these ocd extremes like harming someone, and if multiple times you choose everything is ocd "like i do" you start to feel like something isnt right, it cant be all ocd...

Mindilini

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 I understand your confusion, because I go through that regularly. Do you have a therapist for OCD? I think reaching out to your therapist or starting therapy with someone who specializes in OCD would really help. All I can tell you is that I'm learning how to figure out real life stuff too. And OCD will latch on to anything. In the meantime, I recommend a podcast called "The OCD and Anxiety Show" by Matthew Codde. I found him on Spotify but you might be able to find his show on other places. It really helped me through some difficult times. Just know you're not alone. And that you are on a journey to learn more and more about OCD, and as you learn it will get easier. I think for me (again I'm not a therapist, just a person) I need to identify if my mind is looping on something or not. If my mind is looping, I feel a sense of urgency (like I have to deal with this fear NOW), or I strongly feel locked in a cycle of trying to figure the obsession out, and there's no life or death situation in front of me, then I treat it as OCD. Or if I think it might be OCD then I know, it's OCD. That doesn't make it easy though. It just helps me start the process of dealing with it.

Angel J K

Date posted: 24w

Hard to accept criticism?

Hi came to vent. Sometimes people tell me to stop overthinking and that I need to change that. And I try to give myself grace because I know ocd is real. But then I think “Or am I just lacking accountability?” Because then I hear stuff from people like “you’re just not helping yourself.” Or “you think so negative.” This and that and sometimes I really do feel like it’s just hard, because it feels so automatic… And it hurts my feelings when I’m told that I’m too much, or too negative. Or I need to work on this and that. Then I feel MORE guilt for not being able to accepting criticism well. Because the criticizing voice gets stuck in my head constantly.

Dude01

Date posted: 19w

How do you deal with "undefined" things?

So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks

Real Events OCD

ocdonedidily1

Date posted: 17w

Perfectionism OCD and rumination

There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.

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