I'm terrified that my biggest fear happened on a night I drank too much and blacked out. I now keep finding/looking for evidence to try and prove/disprove and it's terrifyingwhen I find something that supports the belief. Does anyone else experience this. So angry with myself for letting myself drink to this point. Have been so depressed
hey there, I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time right now. I can imagine how terrifying it must be to constantly search for evidence to either prove or disprove your fear and how it's affecting your mood and self-blame. Remember that you're not alone in this and there are others who have similar experiences. Have you heard about "unstuck"? It's a therapy tool specifically designed for OCD and it's been really helpful for me this past month. Another member on this forum recommended it to me and I wish I had known about it earlier. You should definitely check it out at unstuckmyocd.com/try. š
I haven't heard of it no I will definitely check it out. Thanks for taking time to reply
of course! iām here for you if you need to chat and hope that app can help you like itās helped me <3
Hey there, itās important to understand that the very things youāre doing to be certain, to disprove your fears, are the things that are making your OCD worse. I know itās difficult, I know you feel like you must figure it out. These are compulsions and you will never get certainty or be sure. The best thing to do is live your life following your values. Give yourself grace, these things happen, but spending time trying to be sure, or beating yourself up isnāt good for your recovery from OCD. It takes time and practice, you wonāt feel better immediately. You will still have these thoughts nagging at you, but donāt engage. Engage instead with your life, people you love, healthy things you like to do. Eventually, as you consistently give up compulsions you will feel better and get clarity.
I am at the point now where reassurance no longer helps. No compulsion helps. I fully believe the horrible thing happened to the point where Iām living as if it happened. I hate myself because itās something that is so out of character for me. I feel like thereās no other explanation that I feel this way other than it must have really happened. It makes me sick and disgusted. I want to turn back time and not drink to where I canāt remember. I hate myself so much. Thereās no way out it feels like and I feel like Iām this different person now all because of one night. It really sucks.
Why do I worry Iāve done something bad in the past when Iām sure I havenāt because itās something Iād never do The doubt/feeling sometimes is scary and feels real makes me want to look for evidence. Has anyone any advice to help deal with this. Can false memory feel this real and cause such doubts? Is it possible to convince yourself that you have done something bad when you really donāt think you have?
This is the worst my OCD has gotten! Iāve freaked out many times about harming my children, touching them inappropriately, etc. the other night I got blackout drunk and woke up and had thoughts of something specifically that I did to my 5 year old. Itās horrendous. Do you think itās possible to become our worst fear when drunk? Do you think my son would wake up if I did something? This is awful! And Iāve been very suicidal since. Iām not sure how I can accept the uncertainty of this and move on. Yes, Iām in therapy.
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