Why it does? Like i understand anxiety and ocd, it wants us to keep us safe. But what about intentionally gives sou thoughts that makes you feel guilt or discust, or just crying, and it knows its bad for us but it keeps giving the story. Like if something shameful happened to you and it keep making you thinking about it and makes you crying... how to stop that?
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Many times i feel like im lying to myself cause whenever i hear about ocd its always the harm/ pedophilic or relationship thoughts but i have thoughts that doesnt fall to these categories, its about life or my day or about emotions,i cant tell if im genuinly feel those feeling or its just ocd but i feel like a bad person to label everything as ocd.
@PRIV8 For exemple sometimes i have thoughts like: you just wainting for the weekend, but in the weekend you dont feel okay, you will waste your life" or i had a negative reaction when i heard that some of my old friend started dating a kind girl, and i just felt like my heart got hurted or something but in reality i didnt wanted to have that reaction cause i know its not the end of the world, and its just stupid tho, but my mind says i want to avoid my true feelings and i feel bad for that... i can say alot of things like these, like having stories about my dog where he is hurt and i feel sorry for him and it makes me feel really bad but it still comes... so usually i dont hear about these things, its always harm, pedophilia or sexual orientation thoughts, and it makes me feel bad when i try to view these too as ocd...
@PRIV8 And in ocd the "c" is compulsion and sometimes i just have the thoughts and i say well its ocd ignore but then i remember i can label everything as ocd when i dont have a compulsion...
@PRIV8 Maybe the compulsion is trying to get rid of the thoughts, but thats what every perosb with anxiety tries to do so everyone has ocd?
@PRIV8 Or another one, i have a dog and sometimes accidentaly he licks my mouth and when it happens my brain starts to bullie me and makes me think before he ate some crap outside or licked his dingdong or ate something discusting and after that he licked my lips and it makes me feel desperate like i got humiliated or something, its such a bad reaction... and the bad thing i can say its false cause i dont know what he licks or eats when he goes outside and some could say "dont let it lick you" well people who have dogs inside knows at it just happens so quickly you cant do anything about it... sometimes i wake up him licking my face and lips...
So recently my mind is trying to make me feel like I accept the thoughts, like I'm ok with for example loving X person. After I get a thought like that and I realize it I get anxious and, like right now, I cry for 1 hour+ on the bathroom floor. I feel exhausted and I want to know if I'm the only one having this.
Hi Everyone! I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day so far :) So for years now I’ve had very bad intrusive thoughts about things that I have done or embarrassing things that I’ve said or have happened and it’s mortifying and debilitating on a daily basis. Specifically these thoughts are mainly things that have occurred from 2018-2020 and some are more simple just as a stupid joke I made or being way too loud on calls while my family was trying to sleep and others being way more complex such as past relationships and how I’ve hurt some of the people I care the most about and when I have acted on intrusive thoughts and these thoughts will appear with no triggers at all I’ll just wake up and already have something I did just nagging me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I’ve tried working through it with self compassion but sometimes the things I said or did back then it’s very hard to forgive myself for and I’ll reminisce on it for hours on hours, gaslight myself into believing that’s not how it happened and try to change the memory itself, or just suppress it entirely. I know those habits aren’t healthy and truly I want to get better but I don’t know how to overcome some of these thoughts. I have talked to my fiancé about this a few times and even today we talked about it and he fully supports me and is helping me work through it. I might also contact my sister too, I don’t talk to her overly too much but ever since I was little she’s thought I’ve had ocd and was one of the people who made me consider that I might have it (I’m still undiagnosed but I’ll try to when I have the money and time) and I know she could maybe provide some insight. Another thing that is troublesome about the situation is my other family members specifically my mom aren’t the most helpful and can trigger thoughts. To put it in perspective on how her thought process is and some background info she is an ER nurse and has been for 30 years due to this she believes she knows mainly everything there is about mental health and she gets extremely upset when I don’t take her advice or set boundaries. She’ll force me to talk to her about my problems and when I don’t want to she’ll pin me in a corner where I’m forced to and last summer I had a really bad episode and was really overstimulated and I just finished taking a shower and due to the water on me, my hair being wet (my hair is naturally curly and it takes forever to dry and it’s very draining taking care of even with a keratin treatment) and all the intrusive thoughts I was having and she forced me to talk to her and I did open up for the first time about my thoughts and brought up how sometimes I have thoughts of hurting my animals and it makes me physically sick. Her response to this was threatening to call the cops on me saying it was a behavioral thing and I was doing it for attention. I have never hurt any of my animals but later that day my cat came into my room and a few minutes later she comes up just gives me the death stare and after a few seconds just asks me “are you going to go kill snickers?” In the most condescending tone and she’s always like this daily where she’ll force advice onto me or get upset and yell and then reinforce thoughts I’m having. I just want to know first how to stop the thoughts from so frequently and how to heal in an environmental where it keeps reopening wounds despite trying to place boundaries? I’m sorry this is really long I usually do go really in detail about things and it’s just how I’ve always been. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability. I really appreciate the time you took to read this and thank you for your help! 🥰
I have intrusive thoughts about pornography with family, friends or even strangers. I really tried to block them out but it seems they always get triggered.l feel extreme guilt and this massive pit in my stomatach that is just there 24/7 and it WONT GO AWAY! I know this may sound weird but my mum knows about this as she noticed something was wrong, but every time I get a thought I always feel the need to tell her i keep thinking that I have done something wrong and that my guilt will go away if i tell BUT IT DOESN’T It just gets worse and another thing pop in and another. ITS A NEVER ENDING CYCLE and it seems like I just can’t break free. What do I do? Anyone who has also gone through this how did you recover and get your life back?
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