Guilty having good things

Does anyone have a really hard time feeling like you deserve good things?? I have so much guilt from things I have done in the past and from these awful thoughts that I don’t feel like I deserve anything enjoyable. I stopped drinking coffee and tea and stuff because I feel like it’s a reward and it makes me feel guilty, but I had a cup this morning and I feel bad about it. And I feel like I’m just writing this so someone will tell me not to feel bad so I can have it without guilt. That’s not what I’m looking for, I just want to know if anyone else is dealing with/has dealt with this? I also worry that I don’t actually feel that guilty, and that these things aren’t that big of a problem to me. Like maybe I’m just wanting therapy so I can have an excuse to have/do things I enjoy again without feeling guilty. It feels wrong. There’s things I do miss, and I feel guilty for wanting these things. I feel like someone who really cares wouldn’t even think about wanting to have nice things.

Username: SimplerTimes SimplerTimes

Date posted: 46w ago

I had to do a double take to make sure I didn’t post this… cannot relate more. People asking how I am or treating me with human decency sets me off because I feel undeserving. After working with my therapist, I am slowly starting to enjoy things again. Like tv shows or hearing about a friend’s day. If you have not already, work with a therapist, practice ERP and remember to talk to yourself in the same way that your loved ones do. Starve out that OCD, give it nothing to work with. It’s taken so much from you and is always going to make you think you’re undeserving or unforgivable. I want to give you reassurance but it wouldn’t help, embrace the uncertainty and live your life as if you’re OCD recovered.

Username: bloominglotusbloominglotus

Date posted: 46w ago

@SimplerTimes I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m glad to hear you’re making some progress with your therapist. I’m hoping to see a therapist sometime soon. I get that for sure. I get emotional and sometimes feel kind of irritated too when someone does something nice for me or thinks I’m good, because I feel like It’s a waste or and I don’t deserve it. Thank you so much for the advice, I appreciate it so much. It’s really hard to let go and not ruminate, or not try to explain myself and fight the bad thoughts. But you’re right, I’m giving it too much to work with by doing that. I wish you the best as well and hope you’re able to get to a place where you feel deserving of good things again.

Username: StoicGuyStoicGuy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 46w ago

Ask yourself who is perfect? Who doesn't have regrets and guilt? The fact that you do have guilt means you're probably a good person. But that would be reassuring you if I said you were for sure. The truth is no one can be certain if we are good enough or have suffered enough. Only God knows. So the key to recovery is to reframe how you see the world. Live with uncertainty. Right now you're reacting to your OCD thoughts and feelings which aren't facts. But they could be, who knows. See my point? There is no way to be 100% certain. Don't react to your thoughts with judgement but instead just notice them and let them be. Then say " maybe or maybe not, " in response to your thoughts while you do something that you enjoy instead of ruminating on them further.

Username: bloominglotusbloominglotus

Date posted: 46w ago

@StoicGuy You’re right. I struggle with that too, worried about how God sees me. Living with uncertainty seems scary to me, I don’t want to feel like I’m just dismissing things and getting away with anything. But yeah I guess there’s no way to be certain about it. And trying to solve everything makes it so much worse. Thank you so much for the helpful advice, I will definitely try that until I can get a therapist. I haven’t ever tried the “maybe or maybe not.” I usually just try to turn it into something else because I get scared and want it away as quickly as possible, which probably just brings it right back up. I appreciate your help so much.

Username: StoicGuyStoicGuy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 46w ago

@bloominglotus That's the trap of OCD because you can't solve anything that requires certainty. Also, you're not getting away with anything or dismissing anything. If you do something against your values then make changes in your life to align with your values but that doesn't require you to suffer and ruminate. I know God wouldn't want that either. He wants us to learn from mistakes and do better next time improving as people. Not to be defined by our mistakes while living in future thought state of mind therefore not growing spiritually.

Username: bloominglotusbloominglotus

Date posted: 46w ago

@StoicGuy Reading this helps tremendously. Thank you so so much for talking with me.

Username: MichelleBrando55MichelleBran...

Date posted: 46w ago

hey there, it sounds like you're really struggling with guilt and this has deeply impacted your enjoyment of simple pleasures, like having a cup of coffee. your feelings are valid, and you're definitely not alone in dealing with this. by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called 'unstuck'? i've been in your shoes and what really helped me was this free tool (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my NOCD therapist suggested. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it can provide personalized step-by-step support when these guilt obsessions get overwhelming, just like an OCD therapist would. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: aneyh

Date posted: 1y ago

Deserved Guilt (18+)

Does anybody have any tips on how to manage deserved guilt and OCD at the same time? I actually carried out some awful actions in my relationship 3 1/2-4 years ago and absolutely deserve to feel guilt and shame. But now my gf says it’s time for me to move on, I’ve punished myself enough, that I deserve to be happy, etc. I disagree and feel like I deserve everything I’m feeling, and will forever. Opinions on the internet have solidified this for me (most people’s opinion about my event online seems to be that I deserve to think about what I did for the rest of my life, that I don’t deserve love, that my gf should leave me, etc.). I’m scared to go against those opinions. Sorry for rambling, I’m just so stuck between trying to move on for my girlfriends sake and rehashing the past every day to try and understand/fix my faults. Any advice would be appreciated.

Real Events OCD

Username: Leila4740202...

Date posted: 50w ago

Does OCD make you feel like you don’t deserve good things

I recently found out that I have OCD and it’s becoming harder and harder to enjoy every day that passes. I spend hours a day, reflecting on all of the bad decisions I made out of ignorance or out of intention. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for what I did but I also don’t know if it’s the OCD making it worse. I was wondering if you guys have any tips on how to distinguish between guilt over what you’ve done in the past versus the OCD. I just want to be able to enjoy every day, but I’m plagued with guilt!

Username: chloexo

Date posted: 28w ago

Guilt

Hi, I currently really struggle with intrusive thoughts/images. How do I get past this horrible guilt feeling and urge to tell everyone? I just want to be happy but I feel like I’m drowning in guilt.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Guilty having good things

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community