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I had to do a double take to make sure I didn’t post this… cannot relate more. People asking how I am or treating me with human decency sets me off because I feel undeserving. After working with my therapist, I am slowly starting to enjoy things again. Like tv shows or hearing about a friend’s day. If you have not already, work with a therapist, practice ERP and remember to talk to yourself in the same way that your loved ones do. Starve out that OCD, give it nothing to work with. It’s taken so much from you and is always going to make you think you’re undeserving or unforgivable. I want to give you reassurance but it wouldn’t help, embrace the uncertainty and live your life as if you’re OCD recovered.

Ask yourself who is perfect? Who doesn't have regrets and guilt? The fact that you do have guilt means you're probably a good person. But that would be reassuring you if I said you were for sure. The truth is no one can be certain if we are good enough or have suffered enough. Only God knows. So the key to recovery is to reframe how you see the world. Live with uncertainty. Right now you're reacting to your OCD thoughts and feelings which aren't facts. But they could be, who knows. See my point? There is no way to be 100% certain. Don't react to your thoughts with judgement but instead just notice them and let them be. Then say " maybe or maybe not, " in response to your thoughts while you do something that you enjoy instead of ruminating on them further.