So I’m about to get lunch with my friend in a few days and like I blushed at the thought of it but I don’t have a crush on my friend or anything. It wasn’t intrusive and it didn’t feel unpleasant. I’m a bit worried if I should go now I don’t want it to be cheating. I feel like I should go though
It sounds like you're experiencing some anxiety over a natural, human reaction, and it's leading you to question your intentions and the appropriateness of your actions. Blushing can be a response to a variety of emotions, not just romantic attraction. It can happen due to excitement, nervousness, or even just the thought of being in a social situation. It's important to recognize that these reactions can be automatic and don't necessarily reflect our conscious feelings or intentions. From an OCD perspective, it's common for individuals to experience unwanted thoughts or overanalyze their actions, leading to doubt and uncertainty about their intentions or morality. This can manifest in worries about being faithful, even in completely platonic situations. Here's how you might approach these feelings: Acknowledge the Thought Without Judgment: Recognize that having a thought or a physical reaction (like blushing) doesn't necessarily mean anything significant. Thoughts and physical reactions are not always within our control and don't always reflect our true feelings or intentions. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment and accepting them as temporary experiences. This can help you avoid becoming entangled in them or overinterpreting their significance. Label the Experience: You can mentally note this experience as "just an OCD thought" or "just a physical reaction." This can help create distance between you and the thought or feeling, making it less impactful. Reaffirm Your Intentions: Remind yourself of the purpose of the lunch with your friend. Focus on the aspects of the friendship you value and the reason for the meeting, such as catching up or enjoying each other's company. Avoid Compulsions or Avoidance Behaviors: Resisting the urge to seek reassurance or avoid the situation can be crucial. OCD often compels individuals to perform certain behaviors to reduce anxiety or doubt, but this can reinforce the OCD cycle. Going to lunch as planned, despite your worries, can be a form of exposure therapy, teaching your brain that the anxiety-inducing situation is actually safe. Seek Professional Support: If these thoughts are causing significant distress or interfering with your daily life, it might be helpful to talk to a mental health professional who specializes in OCD. They can provide strategies and support tailored to your experience. Here at NOCD every therapist is trained and specialized in ERP training. If you need more information, don't hesitate to reach out. Remember, everyone has odd, unexpected, or even unwanted thoughts from time to time. It's our reactions to these thoughts that shape our experience. By approaching this situation with understanding and self-compassion, you can navigate these feelings without letting them dictate your actions.
last night one of my friend groups guy friends came over just to hang out and ended up staying until 1 am. idk if i’m just overthinking but i think he was being a little too nice to me like trying to flirt. like he was staring at me quite a bit and at one point he said “you have really nice eyes i really like your eyes”. which was a nice compliment sure but it made me feel very weird. he also ALWAYS hugs me and my friends when he leaves and for some reason my brain thinks that if i touch a man more than a first bump im cheating. ik it’s not so i try to give him a high five or let him hug me without freaking out but i literally feel like i cheated. idk if it’s just my rocd trying to convince me i cheated or that i like him or something but i’ve been freaking out abt it. i was literally talking abt my bf the whole time (just incase he was trying to flirt so he’d know i didn’t want/like it). at one point he also asked if we saw something on his snapchat story and i was like oh i don’t have you on snap and he seemed very excited to add me but i told him no bc it feels disrespectful to snap guys other than my bf. he was also touching us a lot like he’d rest his arm on me to show me and my friends a video and i just let it happen bc he might not have meant it but i was freaking out everytime he touched me bc i felt like it was cheating. he wasn’t really doing it to any of my other friends. idk if it’s just my ocd or if it’s actually wrong but i tend to keep my guy friends at an arms length bc it feels wrong to get super close to a man who isn’t my bf and i feel like this guy is crossing the line. am i just overthinking and should try sitting with my anxiety or should i say something? idk if im just being dramatic
I have confessed to my partner multiple times about a person who is kind of on the fringes of our social circle who I have a crush on. I told him that I fantasized about this person and scrolled through his social media out of curiosity to learn more about him. My partner reassured me multiple times basically that as long as my actions aren’t physically cheating, I am free to do whatever I want in my own head and fantasize. He said he’s had his own crushes too at his workplace and he fantasized about them. We both agreed that it’s okay. He told me to stop fixating so much on intentions and internal cheating and realize that my physical actions are all that matter. This person happens to be in a Discord server with me, my partner, and like 15 other people. Whenever I speak in the server, I take great care to ignore this person’s messages and ONLY directly reply to other people’s. I take great care to ignore them, not give them any attention, and not give a single hint that I care about them at all. Even the times where they addressed me, I keep my responses to a minimum. However, 2 days ago I met him in person (he ended up coming to an event that we were having). I went to dinner after the event with the group of people that I normally go to dinner with, and the person came along. I don’t know if he was planning on going, but I could tell he felt excluded and I asked him if he was coming with us to dinner. I also sat next to him during a part of the dinner (it was a fast food place and we went with a group of 10 people, all of which I am wayyyy closer to). I was ignoring him for the most part, but at one point I did ask him if he liked this place and I made normal small talk with him. I am worried that I cheated because I admittedly did have certain thoughts like: - I felt excited to sit next to him. - I was hoping I looked good. However, I intentionally didn’t shave my mustache that night because I didn’t want to seem like I was just trying to look good for him. I knew the mustache would make me look worse, and I wanted to prove to myself that I was okay with looking worse and that I wouldn’t try to look good for him. - I did however wear my hair in a way that I often do, but sometimes don’t, and I did do this to look more appealing. I took very very good care to NOT give this person any special attention, to ignore him and talk to other people, but I am worried that sitting next to him intentionally was cheating.
There’s this guy I just worked with who honestly felt like another version of me, someone who I could get along with massively. Everything we’d talk about was the same, our interest, our taste in films and music, it felt amazing to have someone to chat to. I can’t lie he was also physically very much my type, so I do fancy him. I said to my friend that I think I found the love of my life, but the sad thing is he’s taken so I’ll take having a crush dip and suppress the fact I fancy him and she went all serious with me. Started saying “good because that can ruin a friendship, especially with a girlfriend”, and it wasn’t meant to be so deep and now it’s got me massively overthinking. I’ve only known him a very short time but I wanted a friendship to be there yk, we’ll never really see one another every again after the festival but it felt nice to have had such a good friendship, even if I feel like I’m another life he would be the perfect one. Can I not feel like that and still have a friendship? I’m never gonna do anything about it, I currently like someone else and he also has a gf, but can I not joke about it without it being all serious? I’m massively overthinking it
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