So many what ifs

I just need to vent. So I have recently have been thinking about going back to school to get a Master's in Counseling with the end goal of becoming an OCD therapist. Becoming a therapist is something I've been thinking about for a few years now. The past few days the intrusive thoughts have been super intense. Things like "You are too old to think about going back to school. You missed your chance? Why would you even think of becoming a therapist when you are so screwed up yourself? How do you intend to pay your rent, keep food on the table, work full time, and go to school? You aren't smart enough to get a Master's and you will just end up flunking out. You know your parents won't support you in this. I had a rough night last night because I ruminated about this for about 4 hours last night. There's a part of me that wants want to try, but there's a part of me that thinks "Why bother?" I haven't made a decision one way or the other. I have really good benefits at my current job including 401k. But my current job is not something I am passionate about and is not a good fit for my personality. But its a big decision.

I feel like for as long as I can remember, my intrusive thoughts are in the form of questions. This morning, I couldn’t help but think “What do I want out of my life?””Do I want to be in a relationship with this person?””Am I making the right choices?” With every decision I make, I worry about other options, I feel like I am constantly worrying about what if this happens, what if I didn’t do that. I work with my therapist who encourages that I have issues with judgement. Because of this, I think I can never be 100% confident or assuring in myself or anything I do

Hey everyone! I’m new to this app, but not new when it comes to OCD treatments. A few years ago I had to leave school/ my job in order to work on my mental health which was hard but needed. Mentally things have more or less gotten better OCD wise but I still really struggle with protectionism. I started a new job within the past 6 months that is challenging, but I enjoy enough to hopefully stay at for a few years. As of the past two weeks I have been really struggling with ruminating over my performance at work. I have been trying really hard to learn all the moving parts of the job, but because of lack of mentoring and constant little hiccups I have been stressing. Currently I have been overwhelmed/ overthinking so much that I have been messing up my work and it seems like my coworkers are pretty annoyed by constantly having to correct me. It’s honestly my worst fear as a perfectionist to feel like a burden. My intrusive thoughts as of late is that they are going to think I don’t care or try hard enough, that they talk bad about me to each other, and that they are going to fire me. Has anyone else experienced this type of OCD perfectionism that affects there performance within school or work and if so is there anything that you did in order to help recenter yourself in the moment to stop your brain from running in circles?