I normally never post on boards, but I am just struggling with existential OCD so badly and I wanted to know if anyone had any advice. It’s just so hard when all my thoughts are about the fact that I/everyone will die someday. I then can’t figure out how we all live knowing this. I’m literally afraid to be alive. I’ve lost my appetite, my happiness, and my love of life. It is so hard to believe I ever was or could be normal again, even though I went through something similar twice before, both times lasting about three months. It’s been about a month of this now and it’s just pure hell, especially since I have a five month old baby that I just adore. Everything now just seems so hopeless and terrifying. I am doing ERP. I’m not taking meds because my therapist thought it would take such a high dose, and I don’t usually take anything at all so she was concerned with making that much of a jump... Basically I just need to know what worked if any of you have had this before. ANY suggestion is appreciated, I am struggling to figure out how I was ever happy!

If you’re doing CBT and ERP, you’re on the right track! I’m sorry these thoughts are all consuming right now, and unfortunately there are no real answers to the meaning of life and death (at least that we can know). It’s a little senseless and we can try to form our own philosophies about it all but ultimately you can never and will never find an answer that will make you feel 100% certain about why we’re here and how to make life meaningful. The only thing we can do is stay present and engaged in what’s in front of us right now. Have you practiced mindfulness at all? Using an app like Stop, Breath & Think may help you reconnect with the present moment more often. Just because we’re not sure what the point of it all is, doesn’t mean we can’t engage in it. I also hope your therapist has told you that OCD is verrrrrry common for women after giving birth. Postpartum OCD is a huge struggle and you’re certainly not alone in thinking about all of this when faced with bringing a new life into this crazy world. You may find a support group specifically for new moms with OCD helpful. I’d say: give yourself a break right now. Today feels meaningless? That’s okay. Feel meaningless today. Take a breath, do the minimum you have to do today, and spend the rest of the day being kind to yourself. Do something relaxing, watch a funny movie, or read a good book. Don’t put pressure on yourself to fix everything right now. Let life be a little messy.

@artoftuba Please do not push your religious views on others. It’s unhelpful at best and disrespectful or outright intolerant at worst. Belief is not objective certainty, it’s faith. You can have your faith, and I will do nothing to dissuade you from it, but you have no right claim any sort of objective truth or certainty based on faith. And that’s something all of us, religious or not, OCD or not, must accept. Life is inherently uncertain.