the obsession got so bad that i just cant tell if i am still ocd or just accepting my fate and becoming what i fear most. i cant tell whats going on anymore. im numb, i dont feel like this is a dire situation for my morals anymore, im just so apathetic now. i dont even know what im feeling, if i want these things or not, i dont know
I'm with you, friend. I too have been experiencing the same thing. It feels like I'm becoming my worst fears too. But as my therapist has said, thoughts are only thoughts. The more stock we put into them, the more they stick around. You will get through this. Just remember, this too shall pass. I would also recommend doing some box breathing and getting outside.
im right there with you, its like it feels like ive to accept it but I dont want to be that person my HOCD wants me to be, and a small part of me knows thats not me, I hope
I would suggest taking a step back, allowing these thoughts in, don’t fight them in fact welcome them! I know it sounds absolutely insane but trust me! I spent 7 years of my life avoiding things, pushing my thoughts out, Googling and correcting them. It got to a point where I thought I had to end my very healthy relationship. I wasn’t sleeping, eating I couldn’t go to work. I decided enough was enough. I spoke to those closest to me, I sought help through a medical professional and I went straight through my intrusive thoughts. I allowed them in, like I said above I welcomed them… and guess what nothing happened? If I didn’t do a mental compulsion my biggest fears didn’t come true, if anything I’ve started to gain more clarity that just because I think something doesn’t mean I’m going to do it and it doesn’t mean I am that person. You have to trust the process, I’m still very much in it but I’ve started to wade through it and things are getting better! I hope you are okay, trust yourself
Book: Resilient By John Eldridge
my ocd has been really convincing lately. it’s convincing me that i’m just questioning my sexuality and that i’m bi and just don’t know it yet. i can’t help but think “what if these thoughts and feelings are real” i’m so lost i just feel like all of this has changed who i was. the worst part is that i barely have a reaction to these thoughts so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s ocd or not. how do i know if it’s ocd or i’m just questioning my sexuality??
It just keeps feeling like it’s my answer and that I just need to accept it. I cannot even tell if it’s ocd any longer. It’s just this feeling
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