Realization

i think what’s keeping me from getting better is that it feels too real and i desperately feel like i need to get rid of the thoughts and prove them wrong so i don’t become them, but like, it never made me feel better. and i saw a lot of stuff on reddit with people who are miserable because they didn’t try or get treatment and it makes me want to change so i don’t become like those people on reddit. reddit in total is so triggering and negative and so many cynics and losers spend all their time there and now i think im ready to just not become that. so im gonna try. as im writing this the thoughts are bombarding me telling me that im wrong or im in denial and these thoughts are the truth and i am lying to myself. but i know ocds tricks and im ready to feel better. ima have hope.