Struggling

Do you get thoughts thinking why me, what did I do wrong to get stuck with this? So much going on in my head right now. It's affecting every aspect of my life. Thank you! Your words mean a lot. I see my ERP therapist next week. Trying to cope until then.

@proudmommy I believe everybody gets those thoughts when we’re suffering from something but we can’t stay there. It’s SUPER HARD but it’d be a HARDER life if we gave into the compulsion and our ocd that’s how we got here in the first place. Giving in. I know what helps me is talking to a friend or watching something I enjoy.

@Jai. My go to is going on here so I don't feel alone ❤️ my family doesn't understand. They just tell me I'm fine and just think of other stuff and it'll go away. It's crazy because I'm good at helping others on here and yet when I struggle my advice or help for others goes out the window for myself 🤦‍♀️ Thank you for taking the time to respond. It means a lot!

@proudmommy I believe we’re in similar situations. I know it’s hard but we have to ignore them focus on our recovery they don’t get it because they aren’t going through it and that’s good for them. we’re all here to support each other and share out stories and know we’re not alone. I don’t want to offer reassurance but I do want to offer my support and encouragement. You can overcome and become stronger than your ocd it will take time because it took time to get like this but as long as you keep up the work you got this.

@Jai. Have you overcome OCD or become stronger than it? If so, any recommendations that helped? ERP therapy isn't enough right now. It's nice to know we have people that can relate to us and are going through everything on here.

@proudmommy Sadly, I have not overcame my OCD I am actually just starting this hectic journey but I get tips and Ideas from therapists on youtube that have really helped me on this recovery journey. You have to want it to work and do the work and see it and believe it. OCD is a BULLY think of it like if you don’t respond to the bully what can it do? Nothing and slowly it becomes quieter and quieter. Our reactions have to change we can’t control our brains but we can control ourselves. That’s how you regain your power. Control yourself don’t let the thoughts control you. They’re just thoughts and have no meaning unless we apply meaning to them. Remember if you applied meaning to something doesn’t mean you can’t take it away.

@proudmommy On the topic of strength I’m stronger than I was yesterday, and I’m stronger than I was a month ago and I’m stronger than I was two months ago.

@Jai. That's awesome!!! I'm currently going backwards. I hope someday I can be as strong as you ❤️

@proudmommy You are, you have to stop yourself from going backwards but because you can see it that’s still a step forward.

@Jai. It's literally consuming me. I have to figure out how to stop going backwards.

@proudmommy And you will on your time and that’s all you and anybody else can ask of you.

@Jai. Thank you ❤️

@proudmommy Yes when it’s so loud I just want to wallow. Health OCD is no joke. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m right there with you. We have to hold on that it won’t be like this forever and use ERP when we can.

@OCDdontownme I feel like ERP isn't working. I'm progressively getting worse. This can't be normal. I can't function. Can't work normal schedules, family especially my kids are having to deal with my nonsense. Sorry I'm kinda word vomiting. Health theme is horrible, but I'd rather this instead of. harm, and suicidal theme. I pray it doesn't last long for you. It does get louder I agree with that for sure. I feel like we're being punished for something and that's why we have OCD. I know that's not the case, but I do feel like that sometimes. I always have something wrong with me. I get to a point where I shut down and stop talking to my family as much. Do you get like that as well?

@proudmommy I feel very similar most days. But if I start to believe the narrative that I’ll never get better, that will become my reality. I’m fighting to get better for my toddler and for the future of my family. Health OCD has been a struggle for the better part of a decade for me and I have had really hard seasons and easier seasons. Since having my son two years ago it has become extremely difficult. It’s interesting you say you’d rather have the health theme than harm or suicidal. For me it feels differently. This feels like the hardest theme because of the unrelenting symptoms/sensations. But I’m realizing whatever theme you have OCD is incredibly hard and painful to deal with. I definitely struggle with isolating and shutting down. I’m so sick and tired of myself and I feel like I’m wearing out my loved ones around me. I have to hold onto hope that through ERP and other healthy practices, we can no longer be controlled by OCD.

@OCDdontownme As a mom I completely understand. I started with harm theme when I had my oldest as well as I guess health theme since I was also afraid of him and then my youngest dying from sids. I agree that I too feel like I'm wearing out my loved ones. I'm not sure if anybody else has read the book, "brain lock" I just started it. Hopefully it helps 🤞🏻 i know we are all strong in here. Our brains are more powerful than others that don't have ocd is what I was recently told by my ERP therapist, because our brains come up with all sorts of creative things.