this is going to kill me. im very much suicidal. all the tiem. i cant be mentslly ill. i cant do it. i wont let this happen anymore. i get to the point and then i cant do it. i cant fight this

Hold on my friends. You are stronger than you know❤️

I’m sorry you feel this way. Please remember that you’re not alone. We’re all here for you❤️

Sararae, Ibthink you messaged about wanting to be in our tocd group. If this is whats bothering you. Just make a quick Instagram and you can join us

I feel the same way

I feel like i wont make it past 25 like this

indont knkw whag tocd is

Transgender OCD.

im not trans

no that wasnt me

ibhave harm ocd and apparently suicidal ocd

First of all I am so sorry. But for everyone here please know you are oh so loved. But a thing that helps me is tell yourself “okay I won’t kill my self for the next 60 seconds... after the next 60 seconds... do it again.” Really helped me. Talk with friends. If you do not have any friends call a hotline. I was terrified to call a hotline but they actually super understand and non judge-mental. Sometimes it’s just word vomiting everything that makes you feel better. ❤️ if the thought pops up say I will accept the uncertainty and move on. Hope that helps. Here for y’all. Even though we all have ocd in different ways, we are all struggling and trying to recover. Love y’all

@sararae There is a difference between having suicide OCD and being suicidal. Suicide OCD centers around the fear that you’re going to kill yourself versus being suicidal which comes from feeling hopeless about what you’re struggling with. Please know that no matter what it is you have, you are not alone and there is always hope.

how catlady. i went ftom being top og my game career life motherhood to bed bound and suicidal in 2yrs. ive messed my life up. 3 hospital this summer

hey @sararae I’m praying for you. I just want you to know that no matter how badly you have messed up your life, you can always get back up and start over. Easier said than done. And it might take years to pick up the pieces of your life, but I BELIEVE IN YOU. Yes, you. Your recovery will be a long road, but I have faith that you are going to fight back and get back up. Though it might be slow, just know you are loved. Thinking of you and hoping everyday you can find one good thing. :)

@sararae I’m so sorry to hear how this has effected you. I can relate to living a normal life and then being incredibly debilitated within a very short time. But I’m living almost normally now and still working towards more improvement. You can recover too. You haven’t messed your life up, OCD has. Please don’t ever blame yourself for it. Remember that OCD can only give you thoughts that are against who you are. Nothing it says is true and you don’t have to pay attention to its voice. Be kind to yourself. Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep, eliminate stress where you can, and try to do something that you enjoy every day.

i feel obligated to do it.

@sararae Do you mean you feel obligated to pay attention to the thoughts?

i feel bc i lost my income and for some reason i am hysterical quite often. indont want my son to grow up with a mentally ill mom. better off with no mom at all. these thoughts wont leave me be. i was happy and successful and a great mom. this took it all away. ive already attempted once and now the guilt is sucking the little bit of soul from me. every single day its all i think about. the suicidal thoughts come more than the thoughts of hurting my son. bc of childhood abuse i alrea dy felt worthless and now i am a drain on our family now that i am not a support. child welfare is involved in our lives and i dont know what else i am othrt than ocd but i have to protect him from whatever this is in the only way i know how. i wake up wvrry day thinking about how to do it. God definitely left me behind in this. he could have protected me. i needed protected

i wish it hadnt gotten so bad. ibdidbthis to us when i stopped tsking zoloft forbanxiety. then i tried getting help and all inheard was "what kimd of mother" "child welfare caled on me" "youre bipolar" now ive been in 4 psych hospitals and its just going to keep going. suicide joined the mix when a lot of people on thebnews were doing it. now i cant live with what tjis is doing to my family. its sad but its better. they wotn be trapped withvme

I’m very sorry for everything you’re going through. I know it goes against every fiber of your being, but please try to let the thoughts be there without reacting to them. Reacting to them fuels them, making them stronger and more frequent. By letting them be there and pass, they will eventually wear themselves out. It will take time and strength, but I know you have strength because you’ve made it this far. It will get easier to let them pass as time goes on. If your suicidal thoughts are not OCD, but are driven by your desire to end your suffering, I strongly urge you to get help for them. You can come through this. If I may ask, why did you stop taking medication?

bc of pride

if i had just stayed on we would still be happy..now the meds wont work. i dontnwant to go to hell but i dont have a choice. my little boy expected me toncomenhome well. there is no well anymore

I understand that. I’m also not one for medication because I prefer natural supplements. Would you be interested in those?

What do you mean by go to hell?

tried them. the lexaproneithdrawls drove me to suicide attempt. no choice now and peope sent me videos about meds making peoole kill people. well since thays my ocd theme now i am afraid of this. i dontnhave a choice.

OCD is a liar. It can only torment you with things thsr you’d never do.

It can’t turn you into a monster.

i didnt think it would gobthis far

I’m sorry that it has, but believe me, you can get through this.