BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

POCD 18+

Does anyone get POCD thoughts that come up when you see things that are flat out wrong and disturbing to you when you aren't looking for those things. You look for one thing but results give you another and it's very awful and it triggers you. I don't want anything to do with those things that come up but they show up regardless and it really sucks. Then I worry that I'll be in trouble for it even though I made no intent to look at those results when I wanted to look at something else specifically

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

Are you talking about 18+ content? Because.... As someone who's dealt with it for a long time, it is best to not look at that stuff. It'll trigger you quite easily.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

Mostly yes, but also no. There's times where I'll see things that are disturbing when not looking at 18+ content. I've been trying to get rid of the habit with another habit that I need to build up. I know that I shouldn't be looking at it, but it's hard to resist. It's also bad for my anxiety and my sleep.

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 I know it's a tough battle. I've started back up on it lately and my OCD has spiked. Its important to build up another area of your life. As for the other stuff, you're always gonna be triggered. It's how you deal with that that's important

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme I need to push myself to focus my attention on other things when the triggers do come up, but that's tough like you said. Right now, it's just been hard to refuse it outright. Sorry that you're struggling with this as well

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 Hey, quitting cold turkey hardly ever works. What I would do, is slowly wean off of it. Limit yourself to one or two sessions a day, and slowly stop

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme That is true. While I don't want to watch it again, it may end up happening anyway and outright trying to throw it away altogether won't work.

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 You might slip up and that's okay. What's important is forgiving yourself for slipping up

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme Right. That's what I'm trying to do now. I just have to understand that this has been a problem for many many years and I'm still trying to fix it. I hope it's not a major problem for you

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 It's been on and off for me. After my last failed situationship I fell back on it pretty hard

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme I'm sorry to hear about what happened there. Have you been trying to replace it with another habit?

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 I've been focusing on staying out of my bed as much as possible because I get bored easily and tend to slip up when I'm bored. So I haven't been choosing a specific hobby or anything.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme That's a good start. Doing something that takes effort for reward can help too. That's really hard though because it's so easy to slip into this all over again

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 So true!

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme Still though, I really want to try and create a new habit, so much so that this new habit will be something that I actually want to do and fall back on when bored. I hope we get through it all

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 What are some of your hobbies? I might be able to help you find one you might enjoy 😁

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme Drawing comes to mind. What activity did you have in mind?

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 I say if you like drawing maybe try painting. Or stick with drawing just do it often

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme That's a good idea. Painting is really awesome too. I would just need the tools for it

OCDwontownme

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 Yeah. If you can afford it, I would say start with a simple paint set. Nothing too fancy

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@OCDwontownme Right. I hope later on I'll be able to do what I want and have to.

JessIsConfused

Date posted: 1y

Yes I completely relate. I think my brain is like oh? This is disturbing? It’s makes you uncomfortable? What if u like it then? It sucks 😭

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

Yeah it's so annoying and unwarranted. I'll see one thing that I know I like and the thoughts are quiet and The second that I don't, I feel disgusted but still get those POCD thoughts

TurbulentSaq112

Date posted: 17w

POCD without guilt or shame

I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that

POCD

RadiantlyRed...

Date posted: 17w

POCD 😭

TW Just saw a judge video where a girl was complaining about a mom suing her for money when her mom is her agent and gives her younger sister (at 17 years old) better work because they exploit her body and THEY SHOWED PICTURES. I saw it and was like “oh my gosh is that actually what I think it is?” Then after realizing it’s like I was too shocked to look away. What is bothersome is that I wasn’t immediately repulsed enough to turn it off and didn’t immediately do so and when the picture kept showing up it’s like I kept looking at it to make sure what I saw was actually what I saw. Also, the false memory is hitting hard because now I’m wondering if I had intrusive thoughts judging her body. Now I feel like a perv and pedo 😭 It’s like I’m anxious over not being anxious enough about the situation while actually being incredibly anxious. I don’t if that made ANY sense but someone please help. I will say my mind was already incredibly vulnerable because of burnout and other very stressful events recently. Still, I feel terrible and feel I deserve to be in jail.

EndOCD!

Date posted: 16w

I feel so guilty

I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?

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POCD 18+

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