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intrusive thoughts from OCD specifically thrive on things you feel negatively about. it creates a feedback loop in your brain that can make you question what you think is true. I would say if you usually feel yes, then that's how you truly feel. The thought recurs because of your disgust response, not because you want to think about it. it's one of the things that's so frustrating about the intrusive thoughts!!

You r duffering from a moral delimma and blaming yourself for not being super grossed out by such idea. Maybe you are afraid that you could be a pedophile. Well, you are not. Trying to experience these thoughts and play them around to make sure you are not bad is a compulsive behavior. You have enough moral backgroynd to know that this practice is not ok. You do not need to follow your intrusive thoughts all the way to be certain 100 % that you are moral. U need to talk to your therapist about how to stop trying out these thoughts abd stop trying to seek certainty about your moral compass