I need advice! So 3 days ago I think I developed another theme of OCD (great :() which is making me question my sexuality. My mind keeps twisting everything up, saying ohh uge never had a boyfriend because u actually gay? or what if u like girls and shit like that. this makes me so uncomfortable. I dont want to be gay, I'm.sure in straight. I've never had a girl crush only boys and I'm not attrached to girls in that way. but I'm scared mind will get everything twisted and I cant keep doubting myself. I dont feel the need to kiss a girl or do anything I am not interested in that. ughh why is my mind like this I hate it i have an awesome bestfriend and now mind it twisting everything up and making me think what If i like her like that? ughh someone plz give me advice yesterday I cried non stop and I felt really shit. imagine I'm working and I just cant stop crying this needs to stop

One last thing. A book by Chrissie Hodges “Pure O” is her life story with OCD that includes sexual orientation OCD. She has a lot of great YouTube videos also. Hearing her story is what inspired me to get better.

My OCD often changes themes. It’s very scary when it initially happens. Keep in mind that OCD is all the same and the theme doesn’t matter. It’s not a reflection of you. I’ve had similar obsessions that you describe, even as recently as this past weekend when spending time with my friends of 20 years. I anticipated it and didn’t argue with it. It went away. I also then have been doing ERP to it, which is a must. Make sure you are seeing an OCD specialist who is trained on ERP. You can’t do it on your own.

I'm 17 years old

and I feel like I cant get therapy

because my parents wouldnt understand and I dont feel like telling them anything about this I do t want to upset them

idk what to do

thought about reaching out to my bestfriend but I'm scared I might lose her or our relationship will de damaged

I just want to be myself again I miss it so much

also I have an exam tmr at school and I cant seem to concentrate and revise

That has to be very tough. At your age, I felt the same way and hid my thoughts from everyone. It was tough. It’s true that others may not understand. OCD also doesn’t want you to get better, so it puts those fears in your mind. Do you have access to books? Or could you? Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is good The Mindfulness workbook for OCD also is great if you can’t get to a therapist. Also, consider “when a family member has ocd.” Maybe read that and see if you would then be comfortable sharing it with your parents. It helps people who don’t have ocd understand it.

OCD does make concentrating really difficult. I struggled in school because of it. Please know that you are not alone and there are millions of people who understand. Including me.

I'm pretty sure I can find a book to read but I'd have to make sure to read it when no one around

I feel like if I open up about it everyone will think of me as a monster

Me too! That’s why we don’t do it. I recently opened up and found our that entire immediate family has OCD too. We wasted many years not helping each other

I’m a unique case in it being so rampant in my family, perhaps. Consider downloading the OCD Stories podcast. It’s fantastic. I listen to it everyday with headphones when I exercise. No one knows!

wow that's lucky

I dont think my OCD is genetic tbh my family seems very level headed and calm

I’m 31, by the way. And I’m not sure my 17 year old self could have opened up then about it. So don’t beat yourself up. But do get the books. You can buy then on audio I bet and listen.

I must have developed it somehow

I guess my personality traits must have something to do with it

yeh it's been really tough but I think I've been dealing with it as best as I can

I try listening to podcast aswell

I seem to be very level headed and calm too. I’m great, an expert, at putting on that face. Everyone has always thought I have it all together. Not true on the inside. OCD isn’t necessarily genetic. I know a lot of people who have it when their families don’t.

I'm usually the happiest in my friend group aswell kinda ironic

I love helping others feel better so everyone thinks I got it all figured out

I’ve got to run, but know that you aren’t alone. I’ve been there and so have many others. Try to be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Please get the books and listen to the podcast! It’s a Gamechanger.

thank you for the advice I appreciate it so much

hi again

so I told my best friend that I have OCD and shes being supportive however she tells me to get therapy and tell our school and my parents but it sounds so scary

I really dont think so

It depends on where you live and what your family dynamic is like.

As an example, I live in the southern US and the culture is not exactly open minded. It is possible that those you speak to will not understand. You can use the IOCDF website to find a specialist near you. If you do discuss with friends and family, you need to encourage them to empower you to get to an OCD expert. I saw a few therapists before I got to an OCD expert and that made things worse than they would have had to be.

Your friend is right though. You need to get to an OCD therapist - someone who only or primarily specializes in ocd. I don’t have anyone near me so I do teletherapy which is basically FaceTime. Works wonders.

hii

it has been a while now

I had such good progress from this last post and I really went a few months without worrying or having issues

but it all suddenly hit me again and its painful