nothing feels real right now? and i’m not anxious when the intrusive thoughts come. does this mean i am okay with them? or i agree with them? it feels like im changing.. i don’t want this
I know exactly how you feel, and I don’t know this for sure!! (Im not a professional) But I don’t think it means you agree with them? It could mean that you’re learning to ignore them, or if you mean numb then I’m not sure!!
Thats a super common feeling!! Its called the backdoor spike! It actually means that you are getting better and the thoughts just don’t bother you as much anymore! It can make you anxious because you aren’t as affected by them and you wonder why. But congrats this is a great sign in your recovery!!
@Anonymous ohh thank you! how can i deal with the back door spike in a good way?
@cyndi🫶 I usually say to myself “ooh im not as anxious this is proof im getting better!” And if i feel worried about not being as anxious I kind of sit with that discomfort and remind myself that if OCD is not worried about the original thoughts its gonna latch onto not being worried- its so sneaky! I try my best to laugh it off and focus on it being a sign that Im improving! Your hard work is paying off!
@Anonymous ohh okay! thank you :) it’s good to know this feeling has a name. it’s just so weird because i used to have full on panic attacks due to these thoughts and now it’s just a lil bit of discomfort but mostly just calm. but thank you anyway :)
@cyndi🫶 Yes its soooo weird but I promise you’ll get used to it!!
I know this is late but I'm going through this too it's scary
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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