nothing feels real right now? and i’m not anxious when the intrusive thoughts come. does this mean i am okay with them? or i agree with them? it feels like im changing.. i don’t want this
I know exactly how you feel, and I don’t know this for sure!! (Im not a professional) But I don’t think it means you agree with them? It could mean that you’re learning to ignore them, or if you mean numb then I’m not sure!!
Thats a super common feeling!! Its called the backdoor spike! It actually means that you are getting better and the thoughts just don’t bother you as much anymore! It can make you anxious because you aren’t as affected by them and you wonder why. But congrats this is a great sign in your recovery!!
@Anonymous ohh thank you! how can i deal with the back door spike in a good way?
@cyndi🫶 I usually say to myself “ooh im not as anxious this is proof im getting better!” And if i feel worried about not being as anxious I kind of sit with that discomfort and remind myself that if OCD is not worried about the original thoughts its gonna latch onto not being worried- its so sneaky! I try my best to laugh it off and focus on it being a sign that Im improving! Your hard work is paying off!
@Anonymous ohh okay! thank you :) it’s good to know this feeling has a name. it’s just so weird because i used to have full on panic attacks due to these thoughts and now it’s just a lil bit of discomfort but mostly just calm. but thank you anyway :)
@cyndi🫶 Yes its soooo weird but I promise you’ll get used to it!!
I know this is late but I'm going through this too it's scary
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
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