- Username
- kkkk123
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Me. I’m a girl and I’ve been going through everything in my life. For example: ‘Why didn’t I like shopping when I was a young teen?’ (Very stereotypical I know but still) ‘Why didn’t I get into makeup until a bit later than my friends?’ ‘Has my discomfort with my body really been because of low self esteem or because I’m secretly transgender?’ My face seems soooooo manly every single time I look in the mirror I see a boy. I feel completely different and I hate it.
I relate to this but obvs I’m a man so it’s the other way round. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was lonely, which then led on to obsessive thinking (which I’ve had my whole life) and I was searching for a way out because I was so miserable at the time, and my brain suddenly (at the age of 20) was like maybe the missing piece is that you’re trans, maybe that’s what’s wrong’ I even went to a gender therapist who told me I wasn’t, told people what I was experiencing and at first they were like oh maybe you are, and now as I keep them updated on my journey they’re very like ‘hmm we think it’s an obsession otherwise you would have just transitioned’ I never want to change my body or identity. But you know what, it’s literally down to whether or not you want to change your body. I know I don’t, I like my body, and you know you don’t, so it’s just that. It’s getting the thoughts under control. I believe we have this for a reason, for us to become stronger individuals. Try not to look into the past, it’s meaningless. You’re gonna come out of this so strong
Have you gone through ERP or are looking into it? I’ve had anxiety for years, I suspect since I was about 10. I’ve thought I’ve had SO-OCD since I was 15 but I have no idea and it’s been on my mind every day for 5 years (I’m 20). I’ve been massively depressed and sometimes suicidal since. I get obsessive m thoughts about being trans on and off and I’ve been experiencing it again recently and it’s really horrible. But I really hope I come out of this more sure of who I am than ever before. I came home today and looked in the mirror and I felt okay again. I felt pretty and comfortable (sound so stupid hahaha) and I cried because I know these moments where I’m nice and calm are the real me but they’re so short. We will be stronger, hope you’re doing well!
I’m trying to find resources for doing ERP by myself, been meditating heavily for the past 6 months which has changed my life. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that, but it’s a part of you if that makes sense, and you is clearly a brilliant, sensitive person. You’re you, whoever that is.
My brother does.
You mean he’s trans and doesn’t have OCD? Just confused because I saw your comments on another post about your trans brother?
No, he Trans and has OCD. Sorry.
I kinda wish TOCD (trans ocd) was talked about more. I feel super alone.
Does anyone here experience transgender OCD? It’s been my main theme for 2 years and with that I get HOCD (worrying that I’m a gay man). I identify as a bisexual woman and these thoughts have been so distressing to me. They feel so real. I’d really love to connect with people who are going through this.
I've been struggling with my gender identity since about 2018 and have reached the point where I am currently on hormones. For a little bit I thought I was a woman but as time has gone on I've settled more into nonbinary as an identity. Now that I am on hormones, I'm noticing that some changes are positive in my mind and some give me a pretty decent amount of distress and doubt. I then discovered that TOCD is a thing and it's kind of thrown me for a loop since I already know I have OCD. I already had doubts but now I'm like, "Could I just be lying to myself and I actually have TOCD?", "Is this just a transphobic diagnosis that keeps people from living as they want?", "Is it possible for me to have TOCD and still be trans/nonbinary?". I'm going to have to talk to my therapist about it but in the meantime I would love some help understanding this whole issue. Thank you.
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