- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Me. I’m a girl and I’ve been going through everything in my life. For example: ‘Why didn’t I like shopping when I was a young teen?’ (Very stereotypical I know but still) ‘Why didn’t I get into makeup until a bit later than my friends?’ ‘Has my discomfort with my body really been because of low self esteem or because I’m secretly transgender?’ My face seems soooooo manly every single time I look in the mirror I see a boy. I feel completely different and I hate it.
- Date posted
- 5y
I relate to this but obvs I’m a man so it’s the other way round. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was lonely, which then led on to obsessive thinking (which I’ve had my whole life) and I was searching for a way out because I was so miserable at the time, and my brain suddenly (at the age of 20) was like maybe the missing piece is that you’re trans, maybe that’s what’s wrong’ I even went to a gender therapist who told me I wasn’t, told people what I was experiencing and at first they were like oh maybe you are, and now as I keep them updated on my journey they’re very like ‘hmm we think it’s an obsession otherwise you would have just transitioned’ I never want to change my body or identity. But you know what, it’s literally down to whether or not you want to change your body. I know I don’t, I like my body, and you know you don’t, so it’s just that. It’s getting the thoughts under control. I believe we have this for a reason, for us to become stronger individuals. Try not to look into the past, it’s meaningless. You’re gonna come out of this so strong
- Date posted
- 5y
Have you gone through ERP or are looking into it? I’ve had anxiety for years, I suspect since I was about 10. I’ve thought I’ve had SO-OCD since I was 15 but I have no idea and it’s been on my mind every day for 5 years (I’m 20). I’ve been massively depressed and sometimes suicidal since. I get obsessive m thoughts about being trans on and off and I’ve been experiencing it again recently and it’s really horrible. But I really hope I come out of this more sure of who I am than ever before. I came home today and looked in the mirror and I felt okay again. I felt pretty and comfortable (sound so stupid hahaha) and I cried because I know these moments where I’m nice and calm are the real me but they’re so short. We will be stronger, hope you’re doing well!
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m trying to find resources for doing ERP by myself, been meditating heavily for the past 6 months which has changed my life. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that, but it’s a part of you if that makes sense, and you is clearly a brilliant, sensitive person. You’re you, whoever that is.
- Date posted
- 5y
My brother does.
- Date posted
- 5y
You mean he’s trans and doesn’t have OCD? Just confused because I saw your comments on another post about your trans brother?
- Date posted
- 5y
No, he Trans and has OCD. Sorry.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
- Date posted
- 15w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 12w
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
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