- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Me. I’m a girl and I’ve been going through everything in my life. For example: ‘Why didn’t I like shopping when I was a young teen?’ (Very stereotypical I know but still) ‘Why didn’t I get into makeup until a bit later than my friends?’ ‘Has my discomfort with my body really been because of low self esteem or because I’m secretly transgender?’ My face seems soooooo manly every single time I look in the mirror I see a boy. I feel completely different and I hate it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I relate to this but obvs I’m a man so it’s the other way round. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was lonely, which then led on to obsessive thinking (which I’ve had my whole life) and I was searching for a way out because I was so miserable at the time, and my brain suddenly (at the age of 20) was like maybe the missing piece is that you’re trans, maybe that’s what’s wrong’ I even went to a gender therapist who told me I wasn’t, told people what I was experiencing and at first they were like oh maybe you are, and now as I keep them updated on my journey they’re very like ‘hmm we think it’s an obsession otherwise you would have just transitioned’ I never want to change my body or identity. But you know what, it’s literally down to whether or not you want to change your body. I know I don’t, I like my body, and you know you don’t, so it’s just that. It’s getting the thoughts under control. I believe we have this for a reason, for us to become stronger individuals. Try not to look into the past, it’s meaningless. You’re gonna come out of this so strong
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have you gone through ERP or are looking into it? I’ve had anxiety for years, I suspect since I was about 10. I’ve thought I’ve had SO-OCD since I was 15 but I have no idea and it’s been on my mind every day for 5 years (I’m 20). I’ve been massively depressed and sometimes suicidal since. I get obsessive m thoughts about being trans on and off and I’ve been experiencing it again recently and it’s really horrible. But I really hope I come out of this more sure of who I am than ever before. I came home today and looked in the mirror and I felt okay again. I felt pretty and comfortable (sound so stupid hahaha) and I cried because I know these moments where I’m nice and calm are the real me but they’re so short. We will be stronger, hope you’re doing well!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m trying to find resources for doing ERP by myself, been meditating heavily for the past 6 months which has changed my life. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that, but it’s a part of you if that makes sense, and you is clearly a brilliant, sensitive person. You’re you, whoever that is.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My brother does.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You mean he’s trans and doesn’t have OCD? Just confused because I saw your comments on another post about your trans brother?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
No, he Trans and has OCD. Sorry.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Does anyone with so ocd get scared or feel like they r just going to suddenly realise they r gay. Like all of a sudden you’ll be like omg I’m gay and then I get scared like ong it’s happening to me Can any relate to this
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Hey, I’ve been doing some research on OCD and think I may have it. I’m not 100% sure, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I want to get myself diagnosed, but my parents won’t let me. They agree that it’s very likely that I have OCD, but they think that if I try hard enough, I can get over it. I don’t know what to do anymore or if what I have even is OCD, and I want to be somewhat sure before a I do anything. Right now, I’m a junior in high school, but freshman year was when my “OCD” was the most severe. I think I had (and still do) the symmetry/order subtype and “just right” subtype. I was obsessed with writing things neatly to a point in which I kept forcing myself to erase and rewrite things until all the letters were straight and all the graphs were neatly drawn (typing wasn’t safe either because I use Notability and felt the need to align every text box and make them all the same length). Handwriting was especially a problem in calculus A, and it got to a point in which I couldn’t keep up with the notes, and the homework was taking hours a night because I was obsessed with making my work perfect. Needless to say, I didn’t get a good grade in calculus A and didn’t build a good foundation for future math classes. This makes me really sad because I was previously really good at math and had a bright future in the subject. Eventually, I just stopped trying in calculus A, but by then, I felt burnt out, couldn’t concentrate on anything, kept putting things off, and lost the ability to properly manage my time. I think it may have escalated to executive dysfunction at that point, and it carried over to all my other classes. As someone who was previously pretty productive and good at planning, this was a huge hit on my self-esteem. I was also obsessed with symmetry. If I touched one side of my body, I had to touch the other side in the exact same place. If I was coding something, I would have to evenly distribute touch across each key on the keyboard. It felt like everything was a heatmap, and the colors had to be kept in balance at all times. I also avoided odd numbers because they were considered “asymmetrical”. I was obsessed with routine and had to complete tasks in a certain way, a certain order, and a certain amount of time. Even something as small as combing my hair for five minutes instead of six caused me extreme distress. Writing one word that “sounded off” on an English paper left me unable to keep writing until I fixed it. I had to keep the sound of my phone at a certain volume (6 normally, 10 when exercising, and 12 when cleaning, divide everything by 2 when using a computer) and had to walk a round number (any number that ends in 0) of steps a day. I kid you not when I say that some days I woke up and didn’t want to live anymore. Sophomore year, my mental health improved and I probably seemed overly perfectionistic but not to a point of concern. However, this year, the handwriting issue relapsed in all its glory during physics, and I’m not able to keep up with notes or homework. I feel the same way that I did in calculus A, and I don’t want history to repeat itself. I want to ask my teacher to let me do my homework on paper rather than the iPad (it’s easier for me to write on paper due to increased friction), but I’m scared to ask because I don’t have a formal diagnosis. I don’t know what causes my behavior. I feel like if I can’t do things perfectly, no one will like me. I’ll lose all my friends, and no boy will ever want to go out with me. I know it’s irrational. Literally no one cares what my notes look like or how long I spend on each step of my morning routine or whatever, but I constantly feel like people are judging me and will hate me the second I mess up. There are two more times in my life that I can think of when I displayed symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD when I was 9 and pure/religious/magical thinking/health concern OCD (they all just kind morphed together) when I was 11. I can go into more detail if you wish. As of now, I just want to know my behavior sounds like OCD, and if so, how to more forward. If not, I would love to know what I do have and how to treat it. Thank you so much.
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
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