First off, I feel for you. Especially in an age where social media rules the world, it's gut wrenching to see the people you know doing the things you wish you could be doing, and it's easy to feel like a "failure."
I'm not in your exact situation, but I've certainly felt that feeling of being behind, out of the loop, stagnant, and like the world was against me while everyone else seemed to be floating by like nothing was wrong.
I don't think I have to tell you how unproductive this kind of negative self-talk is. I'm sure you've heard that a million times, and it would probably only frustrate you further if I said you need to think more positively, because it's clear that you feel like garbage right now. No amount of logical thinking or pep-talk will help with that.
What needs to happen here is a shift in your perspective of life, and that is something that only you can achieve on your own time and in your own way.
I can try to offer some words of encouragement.
The most obvious thing that I'm noticing is how personally you're taking all of this. I don't mean that as a criticism, because I know how hard it is NOT to take mental health issues personally, however I would suggest recognizing that you're doing that.
The fact is, you are not alone in your suffering. Maybe there aren't many people that share the EXACT same issues as you, but there are no doubt MILLIONS of people who can't bring themselves to finish school due to mental health issues. Even people that finish school, graduate college, and get their dream jobs often feel like failures, or that they've wasted their time for one reason or another. The grass is always greener.
Some people can't get through school because of mental health issues, some were born into families that can't afford it, some have fallen victim to drug additions, some have terrible diseases that have them bedridden before they're 20.
To be clear, I'm not saying this to invalidate your suffering; far from it. I just think it's important to recognize the universality of suffering, because otherwise it feels like the universe is against YOU, and that's a dark foundation to build your world view on.
My next piece of advice is to recognize that there is no one "correct" way to live your life, and to start shifting your mindset from wanting "success" to wanting "fulfillment." Yes, in modern society, "success" has been associated with good grades, a good degree, a well-paying job, and a good family. But that is NOT the only way to live a fulfilling life. In fact, focusing too much on those things is one of the easiest ways NOT to live a fulfilling life.
A fulfilling life is one that is rich in selfless actions that benefit others. If you focus your goals on things that make OTHER peoples' lives better, you will feel MUCH better about yourself in the long-run. Try to notice the way you feel after even tiny acts of kindness.
You actually have something available to you that not everyone has. You have an extremely difficult mental challenge to overcome. Not many people recognize this, but the techniques involved in overcoming things like OCD are actually incredibly useful for everyday life. As you learn and grow on this journey, you're going to have SO much you can offer to other people who struggle with their own problems.
Being able to pass that kind of knowledge on is one of the best feelings in the world, and it doesn't require any college degrees or paychecks.
This is not all to say that you should just "give up" and just live with your parents indefinitely, but the first step to getting better is accepting the situation you're currently in. You may have heard of the technique of "radical acceptance," and if not, I would suggest looking into it. The idea is that we make things so much worse by resisting the situation we're in. You don't have to LIKE your situation, you just have to acknowledge that, due to many many many different conditions, it's the situation that you're in. Only then will you be able to cultivate the mental clarity required to make some positive changes.
That's enough typing for me. I hope something in here was helpful. I'm here to chat more if you feel like it.
