this is non ocd related but I really need to vent.
I talked with this guy for a month and some days, every day, shared a lot of deep convos, i ended up catching feelings even tho I said that I wasn't going to because he's from another country, last sunday, he told me he still loves his ex, and that's okay, but ofc I had hopes and I was heartbroken, I tried to comfort him best as I could, but next day I decided I needed to move on ofc, and told him I catched feelings so it's better if we just talked from time to time, because I really felt like shit, I really liked him and idealized this wonderful story with him.
I think he's a great person, and I never actually felt like this for no one, that was nice to know, that I could feel love so deeply, I really wanted it to be him yk, or at least the idea I had of him. I tried not taking it personal, because he's a human too, he makes mistakes, so when he was dry, when he treated me one day like I was his dream girl and next day like he could care less about me, when he hid the fact he was actually waiting for someone else, I didn't take it personal. Yesterday, he asked me what did he do wrong, why did I decide to stop talking to him, I decided to be completely honest and told him how it makes me feel, how I wish I could take my feelings off the table to be his friend (because he really doesn't have friends, he's alone, that's why I don't wanna hurt him), he didn't reply to my text explaining, I thought, that's okay, this is the end, at least I told everything I had to say.
but today, he sent me a video about finding his ex on tinder, completely ignoring my text explaining how I feel of yesterday, and when I told him, what do you expect me to say?, he said "idk, I don't have anyone else to share stuff with", all I said was, you're being selfish so I'm gonna be selfish too, rn I'm not available for you, and blocked him, I know I took the right choice, but I feel so bad, I feel like he used me, like he never cared about me, and that sucks, because I really thought we connected, was it just me? he never really felt anything? I'm so sad, I feel humiliated and disappointed, because everytime I did something I thought about how he was going to feel, and he doesn't care at all about making me feel bad