Made up scenarios have gotten so much worse lately. My intrusive thoughts make this whole story up where Im an awful terrible person, and vivid images show up in my mind. I feel so so guilty about it until i finally snap back into reality and realise its just my brain trying to trick me. I am so sick of this.
The mind is a very weird thing. I use to drive a coworker home and my head kept on telling me i kissed him. I’m straight too😂 even doing a a nice act like driving him home all the time made me think I did something awful. You are not alone. You are not alone! We are not our thoughts! You Got this
Hey, I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds incredibly tough to deal with those made-up scenarios and the guilt that comes with them. 😔 I'm no OCD expert, especially with this theme, so I thought I'd share some resources that have helped me, if that's okay with you. You might find the OCD Reddit community helpful. It's full of people sharing their experiences and supporting each other. Also, my NOCD therapist recommended "unstuck OCD therapy tools" to me. It's this new app that gives you AI-personalized guidance and exercises right when you need them. It's been a game-changer for me, maybe it could help you out too. 🌟
I just need help. I’m in a spiral right now! I feel like I offended God with an intrusive thought. I’m scared. I know it’s not rational. My brain is making me think it’s me, but I don’t want to think that way. I’m scared.
Was watching a YouTube video and the person talked about school shootings & how people are crazy. I immediately got distressed thinking “what if i’m crazy, what if I do something as horrible as that” and got so many scary intrusive thoughts after. I feel so ashamed and i feel like a terrible person for these thoughts and some days I want to burst out crying but no tears come out, just a lot of panic & worry. I feel so shameful. And to make matters worse, later that day I saw this funny news for a video game and I didn’t remember how to spell it correctly and when I pressed search, I saw a photo of a bullet & that made me feel so damn scared. Like what if I intentionally searched for it even though I was expecting a video game. Then I started thinking about how on the news they always claim the mass shooters would be obsessed with firearms and It just made my OCD that much worse. Then my OCD goes into my past to find “evidence” that could prove I’m a horrible person that would do something like that. I can’t get these intrusive thoughts and images out and I hate it. I hate violence. I’ve talked to my therapist over and over about how I feel like this horrible person and I give her a list of all the things that I’ve done wrong and to her, she knows that it’s OCD. I would never intentionally physically harm anyone. The only time I would get into a physical confrontation is to defend myself or loved ones. I just feel like I’m going crazy
I tell people my situation, they say it's nothing big or it's fine, I was a teenager. I still feel awful, magically thinking that the persons going to change their mind and expose me to the world that I'm an awful person even though they said I had no affect on them whatsoever. I feel guilty to admit I've shared it with numerous people, whether a little older or the same age, never younger because I feel uncomfortable talking to younger people. Still, everyone says I did nothing wrong and there's nothing to worry about, but I'm more concerned about the fact I feel like I truly did something horrible, I feel like what if someone's enabling my actions, even though they say they're being honest. I feel awful, and I know I have to sit with discomfort and all that bad stuff, but truly I feel disgusting. I've isolated myself for weeks, and I just don't want to hurt the other person, it's made me question my own intentions too. Does anyone else feel this way? I just feel like my mistakes are worse than anyone else on this app or in the world.
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