I’m really scared I have / I’m experiencing psychosis. The symptoms link heavily with my solipsism related thoughts. But then I think ‘no, psychosis is just made up and fake, like everything else’ which distresses me too. I don’t even know if you guys are real. Please help!

I can’t tell if this is existential OCD or if something else is going on, but I’ve been having a serious existential crisis-type episode for the past week. Starting with the realization of my own mortality and an impending sense of doom, hopelessness, pointlessness, and despair, which led me down a path of spirituality (mix of Buddhist and Hindu beliefs). That’s in the realm of “normal” for me, and I was feeling amazing afterwards, I felt like everything finally made sense, like I was at peace with the world, nature, and my soul. But then the intrusive thoughts started(about when I realized technically anything is possible in this seemingly endless universe). At first they were about this whole world being fake, that everyone was in on it except for me, that I was being tested to see if I had learned enough/been a good enough person in this life. Soon realized that this wasn’t logical, since I was going off the idea that nothing was real, but if no one was real they wouldn’t be able to lie to me. Then it transitioned into pure solipsism, which terrified me to the very depths of my soul, at which point I felt suicidal (basically “if nothing is real what’s the point?” Kind of thinking) but after a couple of days of ruminating, I realized the flaws in this logic, as well, and was comfortable in the idea that this was false. Which brings me to now. It’s sort of a mixture of the two, I now have an intrusive thought that there’s some force that created this world to test me, but that no one is “real”, that they have the appearance of being conscious like me, but are being controlled by an outside force, that they’re like robots with the appearance of having a soul, but are just programmed to seem that way, that I’ll not be able to see them again when I die and return to the pool of consciousness since they never existed in the first place. I know in my rational mind this isn’t true, but it just keeps pounding in my head that it’s possible, so I can never assume it isn’t the truth, and it’s making me feel so hopeless. What’s the point if everything is a lie? I feel like my world is crumbling beneath my feet, like I’m drowning. The worst part was that I was fine this morning, but was triggered by an existential question I saw posed online, and wound up back here. I’m terrified that I’m going insane.

The thoughts I’ve been stuggling most recently is ”is the world real or am i really in a simulation” (solipsism and such) of course i dont truly belive in it but it feels impossible to disprove, and the thought of being completely alone distresses me greatly. I know i shouldnt ruminate but it feels nearly impossible to not when everything i exprience is in doubt. It also relates to my original harm-ocd. Anyone who can relate?

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.