- Date posted
- 1y
I feel so sad
I can't stand checking things over and over again to make sure I'm not a bad person. Repeating actions in the expectation that it will prove something to me only makes it worse. But I can't stop checking. In fact, I can't stand a lot of things in my life, I feel exhausted, my mental health is shattered, I have no self-esteem, I don't feel like fighting for anything. Everything annoys me because I didn't want to be here, I wish I had never been born, my existence bothers me and brings me anguish. I wish I could choose not to exist anymore because I can't stand so much pain, so much sadness, so much anger at myself. I get up every day out of obligation, but I'd like to stay in bed until it's all over. I'd like to apologize to everyone I tell about this overwhelming desire to disappear, but I feel suffocated.