I get anxiety when i have to take my child to the park and be around other kids. I worry the kid was in front of me playing with my child and i worry was i leaning or moving toward them so i stepped away if i recall and avoid kids. I like literallt awkwardly walk swsy to avoid any close contact but Im worried did i do anything inappropriate or did i walk away. I dont think i did anything wrong
So glad there's others like me on here. How long have you had this theme for? I'm super new to this.
Makes sense given your ocd theme. Are you doing erp? How about purposely leaning over another kid or not walking) away, just standing still? Avoiding and replaying are both compulsions so you’re only reinforcing the ocd by doing them.
@pureolife I agree. It’s incredibly hard not to give into these compulsions. I agree try to stand still or even step back or sit down on a bench if you can. Give yourself space to kind of scope things out.
Thank you to everyone who responded. I appreciate your experiences and advice.
Had it for almost half a decade.
I even worry if i look in their general direction and see them does that mean i was looking inappropriately. I get awkward. I look down or away but its pretty obvious im very uncomfortable. Doubt ocd convinced me i looked inappropriately snd i get extreme anxiety. The loop continues
I used to feel this way when I would change my sons diaper and bathe him. Mine stems from being molested as a child and I was so scared that something would happen to him. I ended up having to have my ex husband bathe him. You’re not alone.
@Bigotina Well social services is known to be unfair and they should know better to tell someone that. While in SOME cases people who were molested do continue that cycle not all people are like that. I am one of them. Just the thought of hurting my child in any sexual way makes me sick and I just couldn’t imagine ever doing that to him. We are good people with a bad disease that makes us fearful and full of shame guilt and dread. You are not a bad person or some pervert. Screw that adult for making you feel that way when YOU were the victim. This makes me incredibly sad that any type of social worker would say something like that. Makes me lose even more faith in the system. Shame on them.
@Bigotina Im so sorry to hear that. I wish you peace
@Everythingzen Im very sorry. I appreciate your solidarity
I even worry am i leaning or brushing up next to my child or any kid so it makes me avoid my own child or be uncomfortable around younger relatives. I dont want to do anything bad and i havent and no its not me. The ocd makes me worry did i lean or brush up and if so than thats evil. But i dont think i did
@Anonynmous19 I feel like my pure love for my family and morals and the fact that i go to lengths of isolation and avoidance out of fear of the ocd and anxiety and my anxiety in and of itself is a testament and evidence against my ocd. I try to take comfort in this.
17f I was taking a bus and there was a group of children taking it too, like a kindergarten group. I tried to find a place where I thought children are not going to sit but one sat next to me anyway And the thing is that when I need to pee I become a bit physically aroused? Idk I've googled it and it's not that uncommon. Also the vibration from the bus gives me a bit of a groinal response yk since I sit on a seat which vibrates I mean I wasn't even really aroused that much it was a light sensation which was easy to ignore because I was on my phone But im scared I'm like a predator or something cause I didn't leave the bus immediately and had a groinal response when the kid was next to me I dont worry that it was the kid who was the reason of it (I mean not yet maybe I will freak out about it later) I'm just scared it's not appropriate to feel something like that while im next to a child even if he is not the reason of it But I tried to just ignore it and thought that I'm probably being dramatic After couple stops I got too anxious and got off the bus to wait to the next one which I hoped is not going to be full of kids But I'm scared that I'm a bad person and a sexual predator cause I didn't leave immediately after I had this thoughts While writing this post I got on another bus and sat at a seat but there js a child on the bus too not next to me but still not that far from me but I'm scared because of social anxiety people will look at me weirdly if I randomly change seats after I already sat but at the same time what if I'm being a pervert Like I don't even see the kid and stuff but still I'm scared am I a pervert or something Like is it predatory to be aroused near a child? Like the child is not the reason of it, u just are, and I wadnt purposely making myself aroused I just couldn't really help it But maybe I should've left the bus immediately? I mean I did but only after a couple stops because I thought that maybe is not that much of a big deal and I'm being dramatic
I’m scared I might become a r*pist I’m over here thinking at a time I saw a kid and I looked down at his pants like I keep thinking about what I did and it’s like I feel attracted and to me it felt like I gave him this predator look and he probably thinks I’m a P I just wonder how is this Pocd Because it feels like I want to do stuff like I don’t know I keep thinking about that situation
I had to give my daughter a bath and wanted to help my wife bear the responsibility also read online pocd to not avoid bathing. I told myself I am going to bathe my child because im a good dad. As i bathed her i went to wipe her arms and torso. I was going to get her armpit and arm but with the sponge I wiped her chest erogenous area. Then i got anxious and did a compulsion and said “im sorry”. Then ocd said whyd i wipe there ni shouldve wiped her arm or armpit. Was i doing anything inappropriate. Or ocd said not to wipe there and I did so did i do anything inappropriate or with inappropriate intent. I hate having pocd and living parallel with this voice in my head. I know my intention wasnt inappropriate i even prep talked before and did the compulsion of apologizing after wiping. Now im questioning whyd i wipe there first before her arms and armpit since ocd told me to avoid her chest. Then i worry did i have ocd intrusive thought saying i wanted to wipe there and if i had this thought and i wiped there than it means i acted on the thought. I know i wouldnt do anything inappropriate to my child and i know my intent wasnt wrong.
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