Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

Ocd compulsion

Do you ever not give into a compulsion then feel extremely guilt like you did something bad? I was working at my desk and my child wanted my attention. They were putting their toys on my knee and thigh. I was trying to multitask and not worry so i didnt move. Then the anxiety increased and i meant to say please stop. At first i said please and then moved her hand and toys if i recall then said stop. Again i was reading emails and trying to multi task. So i worry by not moving initially. And then by saying please… pausing and then moving and saying stop instead of all together was that inappropriate? My ocd makes me feel like i was saying please with bad intent but i dont think so i was trying to multi task. It sounds silly i know. Anyone else out there with these same issues.

Nica

Date posted: 1y

Yes, but never will giving into a compulsion work. That’s just what OCD wants, and I don’t care (nor should anyone care) about what OCD wants. Because it is wrong.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

@Nica How do I overcome false memory pocd. The thoughts make me sick to my stomach, cause me distress and a lot of anxiety. I know we are supposed to practice acceptance of uncertainty but the thoughts or actions are too evil to deal with if it were true. Its not who I am.

AWAnonymous

Date posted: 1y

As much as I don’t want to say me too at this very moment - me too. Yes, I deal with these things similarly. I will tell you what helps me - I gauge my response to the thought vs the thought. If you were trying to say please, you would know that’s what you were doing. Your concern about your response is all you need to know. Your distress in relation to the situation is your answer. If you meant it, you’d not be posting here today. Stay 💪

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

Thats helpful. Distress vs pleasure is a good evidence against ocd that we are good not bad. Thank you

AWAnonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonynmous19 Yes! That’s exactly what it is. & usually it’s helpful in avoiding the overwhelming guilt and anxiety.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

@AWAnonymous How do I overcome false memory pocd. The thoughts make me sick to my stomach, cause me distress and a lot of anxiety. I know we are supposed to practice acceptance of uncertainty but the thoughts or actions are too evil to deal with if it were true. Its not who I am.

AWAnonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonynmous19 You just answered your own question. It’s not who you are.

AWAnonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonynmous19 Remember that OCD will try to trick you. Don’t feed it.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

@AWAnonymous Thank you very much!

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

@AWAnonymous Its also old memories which i learned the more we think the more the original memory gets erased. If i did anything bad i wouldve compulsively confessed and wouldnt have gone half a decade without thinking ir worrying about it if i really intentionaly did such evil. Is it possible to use logic to combat false memory? Or are we to just respond “maybe maybe not but i know its not who i am”

AWAnonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonynmous19 Using logic is an attempt to argue with the OCD and will not further your attempt to find certainty and if it does it’s temporary. You can rely on it without engaging it :)

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

@AWAnonymous Thank you that makes sense

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

Its especially hard with false memory ocd

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 1y

I agree!

Aphid123

Date posted: 22w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

Anony1314

Date posted: 21w

Is this truly an OCD episode? Just a mom trying

Just a little side note: I know this post has been made MANY times by me. However, I had a therapist respond to my post today saying that I need to reach out to my therapist on this because the context was not clear. This made me more stressed and ruminate more. It's not the therapist fault; but not I wonder if I'm really the monster. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow) but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD?

POCD

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 18w

Pocd as parent

I was giving my child a bath. I picked her up out the tub because shes small. But the momentum of picking her up she swang a little toward my body and ocd said did i hip thrust kr do anything wrong. I did a compulsion saying NO repeatedly. And i put her back down and beforehand i didnt have any ill intent just to help her get out because shes a toddler. I had other intrusive thoughts but tbats not my intent i was just trying to be a good dad

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