Username: Bluebells

Date posted: 40w ago

Help

I need some support from anyone who’s willing to offer it, please. My ocd, particularly scrupulosity, has been making my life a living hell. I can’t ignore my suspicions and compulsions and they rule my life. I’m debating whether or not the God I rely on even exists, and quite frankly I’ve been thinking about suicide. I don’t know how to tell my loved ones. I was in a position where I had to talk someone down from suicide at a young age and it crushed me afterwards. I know suicide is wrong, and I’m scared to think about it, but I don’t know how I can live. I just need someone to know.

Username: RAAM000001RAAM000001

Date posted: 40w ago

Honestly bluebells, it’s best if you seek professional help. If you have a local therapist in your community m, it helps. Or talk to your parents about it. Let it go. Lots of times letting things go that are in your mind really helps you and relax. Trust me… I have gone through this. Not the suicide part. I have Pocd and it’s honestly killing me, but I tell my mom and my brother. They always understand.

Username: Brooklyn#1Brooklyn#1

Date posted: 40w ago

I’m sending love and prayers, have you talked to your dr? Medicine help a lot. And therapy. They’re life changing. I’m hoping it gets better for you!

Username: Narobi02Narobi02

Date posted: 40w ago

Hi Bluebells. Just said a prayer for you! You are incredibly loved and you CAN make it thru this. I have been in a similar headspace where I didn't want to be here anymore - I didn't know how I was going to make it thru life like this. But I was just in the depths of fear and not reasoning well. I learned that just because I think something or feel something doesn't mean it's actually true and an accurate reflection of reality. What I thought I couldn't do, I actually could and did. I am praying for you! I think talking with a therapist is really going to help. Do you have one right now?

Username: Bluebells Bluebells

Date posted: 40w ago

@Narobi02 Thank you so much 😭

Username: AhsjdiviwajdjdjjcAhsjdiviwajd...

Date posted: 40w ago

Hey there! Just want to share with you that my parent committed suicide when I was a teen and it didn’t solve anything in fact in made my family dynamic worse and the pain was inflicted on me and my siblings along with many other family members. I do not blame my parent but I just want to let you know how badly it has affected me growing up. In my mid twenties now. There might be a mix of feelings coming up for you, but part of that could be fear. Fear that you won’t be able to cope or overcome this, but with the right help you absolutely can. Do you have access to a therapist at all?

Username: Bluebells Bluebells

Date posted: 40w ago

@Ahsjdiviwajdjdjjc I do not have access to therapy. Do you have any other ideas?

Username: AhsjdiviwajdjdjjcAhsjdiviwajd...

Date posted: 40w ago

@Bluebells My suggestion would be to start my grabbing a journal, write out everything that is bothering you. Basically dump your entire thought process on the page. Then get a new page, and write down moments in time where you feel like god showed up big. Maybe he saved you from a car accident or he provided food when you lacked finances, whatever small or big thing write that down. When you review those things maybe tou notice that God has got you through a lot and he will continue to do so. You don’t need to prove to yourself 100% that there’s a god that’s impossible and wrestling with those questions is very very normal especially if your struggling with ocd your more apt to question God. But maybe God put you here to help someone and through that you will find your true purpose and your trye reason for this life

Username: AhsjdiviwajdjdjjcAhsjdiviwajd...

Date posted: 40w ago

@Bluebells I’d also like to recommend brainmd GABA supplements. Specifically the brainmd ones because I go to amen clinics and they have their own scientists who create mental health supplements. They’re helpful for ocd. The GABA bottle is purple but please consult a doctor or take at your own risk because idk your current health status or anything about you

Username: AhsjdiviwajdjdjjcAhsjdiviwajd...

Date posted: 40w ago

@Bluebells Ultimately what I’m trying to help you do is shift perspective instead of trying to control the situation which is what many ocd people do. Instead of thinking: “I’m stuck with ocd I can’t get through this i don’t wanna be here” we want to shift to: “I am having a hard moment right now, my ocd is flaring up, and I’m struggling to cope. What can I do for myself right now to get through this?” Instead of thinking about your entire life, focus either on today or this hour or this second. There was a time in my life when I was struggling so bad that I focused on my life by the hour while I went through recovery. Because if I started to think of my life long term I felt an extreme sense of fear like no way I can deal with this. But yes you can deal with it, there are so many tools. What is your personal barrier with finding a therapist?

Username: Bluebells Bluebells

Date posted: 40w ago

@Ahsjdiviwajdjdjjc Thank you, that strategy seems like a good one. I will try it. My barriers are money and time mostly

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 40w ago

Sorry you're going through this. Whats happening with the scrupolosity? I also stopped someone trying to kill themselves 10 years ago. What annoyed me was the amount of people that just stared. That and other things played on my mind for ages. I was undiagnosed at the time and didn't know I had moral scrupolosity

Username: Bluebells Bluebells

Date posted: 40w ago

@Wolfram I have religious scrupulosity and I can’t tell what God’s trying to tell me, if anything. I’m really sorry you had to go through that as well, you know as well as I do that even if you help it’s a crazy weight.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 40w ago

@Bluebells I've not had religious scrupolosity before but used to feel like I saw signs from a higher power at points etc. I don't know what I believe in but signs or not, you've been given the tools to deal with your problems, you just need to learn what they are and how to use them. Sometimes you need help to do this and that's fine. Sometimes it's trial and error. Mistakes are a natural part of learning. I don't know I'd I missed the mark here 😬

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 40w ago

If i*

Username: cerulean

Date posted: 5y ago

I have Religious OCD and it's absolute torture. I'm always worried that I'm not saved or that I'm a terrible Christian, or that God is disappointed in me. I feel guilty almost constantly, and the only way to find relief is by seeking reassurance, either through Christian articles online, or through talking to my pastor. I'm sure my pastor is annoyed with me by now because every few weeks, I call and text him, urgently asking him for help. And now that I've discovered what ROCD/scrupulousity is, it's gotten much worse. At first, I was relieved to know that I'm not the only one who suffers from this, but then I started to realize that I compulsively seek reassurance. So now I feel guilty every time I pray or read Christian articles or talk to someone about my problems, because I'm terrified that I might be compulsively seeking reassurance. So now I've become obsessed over the fear of engaging in my compulsions! I don't know what to do. I just want to have a normal, functioning Christian life. I just want to stop living in constant fear and guilt. I would never kill myself, but sometimes I feel like life isn't worth living and I secretly hope I'll die in my sleep so that I won't have to live like this anymore. I just want to go to Heaven to be with my Jesus, where He will "wipe away every tear from [my] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things [will] have passed away." I can't live like this anymore. Someone please help me.

Username: chihuahua_girl

Date posted: 31w ago

Religion OCD

Hello, I’m very new to this and have never confessed the fact that I struggle with severe scrupulosity (religion ocd) to anyone before. I am not officially diagnosed but I have spent countless hours researching and know that I am dealing with this horrible mental illness. I can’t function anymore. The intrusive thoughts are getting so bad. The moment I wake up they begin to pop into my head & I can’t even sleep because they are just running all over my mind. The thoughts are so bad that I don’t want to repeat them but they mostly are blasphemous bad thoughts. I avoid praying and religious services because it triggers my bad thoughts. I cannot control anything and I have no access to therapy because I’m so scared to ask for help and don’t know how to even describe to my family what I am going through. It’s so debilitating and I just keep repeating these scripts to myself to try and relieve my mind but it just starts all over again. It’s non stop and I know I cannot keep going like this. I don’t know whats real or isn’t, I just want a break. I’m so scared of everything and it’s interfering with my life more and more. If anyone could share some words of encouragement or tips it would be greatly appreciated.

Username: haleymoriarty

Date posted: 30w ago

Hi everyone ☀️❤️

I am issuing a trigger warning because I will be discussing Su!cide themed OCD and don’t want to trigger anyone struggling with thoughts like this. ❤️ I have been struggling with suicidal themed ocd (not ideation, unwanted thoughts that are very distressing) as well as existential OCD. I am posting this to help anyone feel less alone / if anyone with similar themes wants to chat. My main fear is that I will become sick of the distress I am experiencing and will decide that I want to commit S. I also fear being depressed and being passively suicidal and am constantly checking whether I truly want to die or whether it’s OCD related. Then my existential OCD loves to join in saying “what if this is all pointless, this is all meaningless, life will never be enjoyable again” etc. I then fear that I will start to believe these thoughts because they feel so real & that my philosophy on life will change and I will take my own life because I cannot take it anymore. I feel like I cannot move on without knowing that there is a purpose and that I 100% will NOT k!ll myself. But I am aware of how OCD works. I know I need to leave these questions alone because my true values still exist deep down, but it feels irresponsible to do so. I DO NOT want reassurance, but I am sharing this so people feel less alone because these themes (especially su!cidal) are extremely taboo. Love to anyone reading this- we are gonna make it!! ❤️

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