Anyone else struggle with this theme? What has helped you? Its a fear that I will loose control. Even just reading the word triggers me. I don’t want to die and it’s constantly on my mind ruminating.
Yes I used to struggle with it a lot. The fear of losing control is a natural one. What helped me has been ERP therapy, mindfulness, meditation, and simply learning about how intrusive thoughts work. The end goal is to understand that the content of your intrusive thoughts don't actually matter. All that matters is that you are afraid of them and the anxiety that they produce, which leads to compulsive behaviors used in an attempt to avoid the thoughts and the anxiety. It's scary, but the way out of this cycle is to not fight the intrusive thoughts. Allow them to be there and allow yourself to feel (mindfully) the anxiety that they produce. This takes a lot of time and practice, but eventually the brain stops thinking that they are important, and they will come up much less often. Back when I believed that intrusive thoughts about suicide meant that I was actually suicidal, they just wouldn't stop coming. I ruminated, I researched, I checked for signs that I would do it, I compared myself to people that did. All of that stuff did nothing but label those thoughts as important, so they kept coming back. These days, once in a while I'll have some fleeting thoughts and images about suicide, and that simply doesn't bother me much any more. They are just thoughts. They come and they go, just like the thousands of other thoughts we experience that we don't even notice or care about. The only thing that changed was my relationship to my thoughts.
@djflorio i really like this perspective
How are you doing ? Currently going through this . Did it pass ?
Not suicidal but the what you went through is what I’m going through and I’m scared to be alone cause when I’m alone my brains like well now you can do it and it freaks me out 😢 please tell me you got past this ?
@Walters15! Hi, I totally get what you’re going through , I literally have the same exact thoughts and they are scary as hell. Some days I have really good days, and then some days it’s so loud and scary. I just upped my dose of clomipramine and I am actively seeking a therapist . It feels like torture. When I’m alone is when it’s worse. I am here for you , and I’m happy to chat whenever you need me because it can feel so lonely not being able to talk about it without people freaking out/ not understanding. I love my life and my family, and it scares the hell out of me. Please keep in touch with me.
so i have ocd but this is the main theme ive been dealing with for the last few months, im obsessed with my mortality and i feel trapped by the reality of death. i dont really believe in an afterlife which makes it scarier, not that i dont wanna my brain literally just wont let me. but i have daily panic attacks thinking about death all day, its honestly the toughest thing ive ever dealt with. does anybody have any tips on how they manage this if they have ever dealt with it? not looking for reassurance, just some non compulsive ways to kind of lessen the grip of the fear.
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
Hi guys i hope someone will help me with this one. I have fears around suicide/mental health/ depression. From the moment i wake up to a moment iam going to sleep i have these crazy thoughts in my head: what if i will be so sad that i will commit? what if my life has no meaning so i will commit? Also i have this mixed with existential/depressed thoughts like: life has no meaning, why iam doing this it has no meaning. So i cant enjoy litterally anything anymore. I have great day and my mind always trying ti convice me that iam suicidal and nothing is going to be the same. My mind has own patterns and i feel like i cant break it down and i know iam not like this. Also words like: mental health, suicide, mentall illness, sadness trigger me so much. Can someone help me? also i have googling compulsion, i spend 24/7 on this app, watching youtube content.
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