This disorder sucks. I can't keep or make a friend. I never wanna go out with someone cause idk if they're contaminated with drugs or anything. People just don't wanna be my friend.
Omg you’re my person lol ! I know exactly what you mean! I have an eating disorder because of my fear of drugs and being drugged/poisoned
@Bayliee Yes before therapy I starved myself in fear of eating! That's so sweet it's like Greys Anatomy! Lol you're my person :)
@Emfishy21 - Yes!! I’ve had to do inpatient twice because of starving myself. It sucks because I’ll make something and be so excited and as soon as the food is in-front of me I overthink it and throw it all away. At the grocery store I have to pick the 3rd one on the shelf so hopefully no one touched it. Even if the box or bag food is in looks a little off or has a dent or whatever I won’t touch it and throw it away. When I get packages delivered I spray them with Lysol and grab them with gloves.
@Bayliee Yes!
@Emfishy21 Hey!! I am experiencing this too, and wondered if you guys have any good exposures. I feel like I’m constantly living in fear that I’m going to be spiked with drugs or accidentally come into contamination with drugs.
@Miaro1121 How are you now ? With this fear I have the exact same thing
@Bayliee This is so me! OMGGG
@Bayliee How are you now with this fear?
@Lilly2442! Hi!! I have an eating disorder because caused by my OCD because of this.. and we have the same name lol. Just so nice to meet people with this similar experience because not only is OCD isolating but and eating disorder completely caused by ocd itself is even more isolating since its not widely recognized as a subtype.
@lillyzora Wow I’m so sorry about the eating disorder. I’m struggling so bad with the thoughts of possibly anything being drugged so I avoid eating when the thought pops up. But I do ERP also. How long have you had this thought? And what triggered it? If you don’t mind me asking
@Lilly2442! Hi! I been dealing with this since 2021. A bad mariquana smoking experience is what caused this. Which happened in 2016 the thoughts just became unbearable in 2021
@lillyzora I just realized you're two different Lily I thought the comments were to me lol
@Emfishy21 How are you doing with this fear now?
@Lilly2442! Well I still stay away from mariquana. I don't go around any know I know or suspect does drugs and I don't eat anywhere with mushrooms though I can touch a packaged mushroom next is a bare mushroom no barrier
@Emfishy21 You don’t eat food with mushrooms? Also I am the same way I stay away from people who do drugs
@Lilly2442! Nope. Cause the drug mushrooms. Even if a restaurant sells food containing mushrooms I won't eat there.
@Lilly2442! I have a mild peanut allergy, so it started last christmas when my aunt was talking about her sons reaction and a general discussion about allergies. It freaked me out so much I didnt eat for five days! Throughout the year id go without eating for a day because of fear of allergies and poison. The severity of it fluctuated as other obsessions took me over . Doing much better now! Im in class rn and just ate a random bag of chips 🤗
@Emfishy21 I do the exact same thing. Thats crazy
@lillyzora How did you get over it?
@Lilly2442! I’m definitely not over it, however I have made lots of progress and will continue to do so! For me I was very lucky to get therapy and medication that has motivated me to practice exposures. Its very possible without medicine/therapy however, plus I am becoming less reactive to my dose which has caused poor motivation and more ocd spirals but it has not affected my eating disorder (ocd spirals only cuz i havent been working on them as much—if i had im sure itd be less). ANYWAYS Lets get to the point—I listed all my food rules and fear foods with my therapist and we rated each one from ten on how much anxiety they gave me. We started very small, so I started with eating alone. For example I started a few days with eating a mere snack alone until I worked my way to cooking and eating alone. The whole idea is to gradually increase the exposures so that you don’t scare yourself too much that you don’t continue. This way you are still motivated to keep going being able to see all that progress. I definitely still get anxiety attacks about food, and I’m still scared to try these fear foods… even after sending that comment I was worried over that bag of chips. But it gets so much more easier to handle. Two months ago I had five foods in my diet and now I’m at my average weight and eating a variety of foods and my body thanks me for it. Yours will too I’m sure ;)
This is me too!! I'm so sorry all of you are dealing with it, but it's a HUGE relief to know I'm not the only one.
The people are contaminated with drugs? It’ll get better once your OCD is being managed
@Honeyshark I have a drug contamination problem. I'm scared things have drugs in them or on them
@Emfishy21 Ah okay, then it sounds like your ocd needs more support.
Honestly I’ve never felt like the worst person ever , all my life I’ve always struggle with fitting in and making a good friend group, and I always think I don’t do enough for anybody and sometimes when I feel like somebody is becoming cold or distant I make sure to keep a distant too out of respect or a mechanism to help me not feel hurt , as a result a friend of mine did this and I stayed away because I had no idea what she was going through and my other friend who I’ve met at the beginning of the year I’ve never had a good feeling abt her because I noticed her starting to be really flirty with my boyfriend and when I tried talking to somebody about it , she twisted the entire situation to her assuming I was sl*t shaming her, which I’d never do that is not in my dictionary , so when I arrived to school everyone said she was saying really bad things about me and what’s worse is that she did this two months ago and I found out last week I cried to all of them about it and they ignored me they all laughed and just left me there to cry , I tried talking to my friend who slowly grew distant instead I noticed her getting closer to the friend who wronged me . I noticed all my friends growing a distant , I slowly felt like I failed as friend and then I slowly starting convincing myself i was a failure in general , so as a result, I turned to marijuana and cough medicine, and multiple dealers reach out weekly so I can buy more stuff , and what’s worse is that I know these people are not good friends but I still let them get to my head and on top of that I resort to substance abuse to help with my overthinking and anxiety , I need advice
My pocd makes me feel really lonely. I have friends who I love but they also struggle with mental health too, and when I'm there to listen and support them sometimes it's just too much and I feel like a bad friend. I can't help but feel like it's not the same, I know you can't compare your struggles to others but sometimes when my friend is telling me how they feel a lack of motivation and depressed I honestly wish I was just dealing with that instead of that and fearing that I'm a pedophile ontop of it. Like at least the thing you're dealing with isn't something that will make 90% of the population despise you, you know? I know that sounds bad and isn't very mature but I'm always the therapist friend for other people, and I'm the only one actually seeking help and trying to get better and I arguably have the worst thing to deal with. I feel like my friends only want to talk to me when they're depressed or need advice and I'm so tired of it.
I’ve been dealing with ocd and anxiety since I was a kid, but these recent years have been the worst it’s ever been. It’s hard to communicate with people about your mental health so I’ve been self isolating by accident lol, my social anxiety is terrible and it’s extremely stressful for me to hangout with people and my friends don’t seem to really understand even when I try my best to explain. They notice I don’t hangout as much but to them it’s “me being weird “ or “ a fake friend” I don’t know what to do and it’s frustrating
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