feels too real

@bebecoll30 what has been getting you through these tough times? i got on zoloft and im really going through a hard time

@bebecoll30 the suicidal thoughts are really about to take me out idk what to do anymore

@Ksch24 the best thing we can do for ourselves is accept the thoughts. OCD wraps around the things we love and are important to us. It sounds like the two of us really value being a woman and have always felt that way. This was my first theme with ocd, and it literally came out of nowhere. It started with sexual orientation related and spiraled into full blown transgender ocd where i was literally hyper aware of my arm hairs and wanted to shave them off, my ocd was pushing me to try on my fiancés clothing to prove to myself that I’d never wear it, it would attack me in the mirror when i was trying to do my makeup. It will say “you are a boy” or will fixate on certain characters on tv or in books and ask me if i related more to men than women and if deep down i really want to be a man. it is scary as ever, i understand more than anyone. This theme is pure torture. Medication, i am in Zoloft 200mg. I’ve been on it for 5 years now and there were great years in between where my ocd when into complete remission. Unfortunately this past year i had a relapse and haven’t been able to fully come out of it. Since September 2023 ocd has affected me daily in some way. The best advice i can give you is make friends with the thought. You are going to have to stop associating it as forbidden, gross, wrong or crazy. A thought is a thought. Just like the thought of needing to eat something because you are hungry. They are all the same nature. It is so important to understand that not everything you think is true. And if it causes distress, it’s probably not. Accepting the uncertainty and finding your core fear behind the thoughts is crucial too. I had the suicidal thoughts with this theme too, i was so distressed and told myself that if i couldn’t be who i really wanted to be and if this was true then i didn’t wanna be here anymore. Looking back, wasn’t that the answer i was looking for all along?? if i wanted to die because of these thoughts, they certainly aren’t true.

@bebecoll30 yeah that’s true but it’s hard for me to accept the thoughts and stuff it feels so real. i’m only 19 and i’ve always loved being a woman never once questioned it before until i saw a tiktok comment about tocd and i went from having sexual orientation ocd to this one. this one feels so much worse

@Ksch24 That’s your answer right there girly. You saw something that triggered it. I totally understand, you aren’t alone. Let me know if you’d like to share more thoughts and we totally can! Sometimes it helps to find a friend with the same theme.

@bebecoll30 i would love to! ◡̈

@Ksch24 Do you have group me app?

@bebecoll30 no i don’t, what’s that?

@Ksch24 If you want to just exchange numbers I’m fine with that. Or you can download the group me app it’s a platform to connect with others through messaging.

@bebecoll30 my number is 8157517371

@meowmeow let’s talk! i’m still going through it

@Ksch24 do you have any social media platforms we can talk on?

@Anonymous i had to delete reddit it’s a compulsion for me :(