KatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
feels too real
feels like i’m in deep denial idk wtf to do i’m freaking out i can’t sleep i just want to feel normal again 😭😭😭 i wanna be a girl not a boy 😭😭
bebecoll30bebecoll30
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
H! I have this same theme and i understand how hard and debilitating it is. My thoughts are so degrading and bully me. My ocd will say that deep down i want to be a boy and im just hiding it from everyone. I was in the same position as you, couldn’t sleep couldn’t eat couldn’t do anything because i was so scared of the thoughts. But being scared of them, is the very clarity that’s needed. it’s not a desire, it’s a fear. People who are transgender do not fear themselves and feel sad and depressed because they have this issue. They will most likely tell you that it’s when they feel most like themselves, us on the other hand it flips our whole world upside down and makes us feel foreign to our own bodies and mind.
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@bebecoll30 what has been getting you through these tough times? i got on zoloft and im really going through a hard time
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@bebecoll30 the suicidal thoughts are really about to take me out idk what to do anymore
bebecoll30bebecoll30
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ksch24 the best thing we can do for ourselves is accept the thoughts. OCD wraps around the things we love and are important to us. It sounds like the two of us really value being a woman and have always felt that way. This was my first theme with ocd, and it literally came out of nowhere. It started with sexual orientation related and spiraled into full blown transgender ocd where i was literally hyper aware of my arm hairs and wanted to shave them off, my ocd was pushing me to try on my fiancés clothing to prove to myself that I’d never wear it, it would attack me in the mirror when i was trying to do my makeup. It will say “you are a boy” or will fixate on certain characters on tv or in books and ask me if i related more to men than women and if deep down i really want to be a man. it is scary as ever, i understand more than anyone. This theme is pure torture. Medication, i am in Zoloft 200mg. I’ve been on it for 5 years now and there were great years in between where my ocd when into complete remission. Unfortunately this past year i had a relapse and haven’t been able to fully come out of it. Since September 2023 ocd has affected me daily in some way. The best advice i can give you is make friends with the thought. You are going to have to stop associating it as forbidden, gross, wrong or crazy. A thought is a thought. Just like the thought of needing to eat something because you are hungry. They are all the same nature. It is so important to understand that not everything you think is true. And if it causes distress, it’s probably not. Accepting the uncertainty and finding your core fear behind the thoughts is crucial too. I had the suicidal thoughts with this theme too, i was so distressed and told myself that if i couldn’t be who i really wanted to be and if this was true then i didn’t wanna be here anymore. Looking back, wasn’t that the answer i was looking for all along?? if i wanted to die because of these thoughts, they certainly aren’t true.
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@bebecoll30 yeah that’s true but it’s hard for me to accept the thoughts and stuff it feels so real. i’m only 19 and i’ve always loved being a woman never once questioned it before until i saw a tiktok comment about tocd and i went from having sexual orientation ocd to this one. this one feels so much worse
bebecoll30bebecoll30
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ksch24 That’s your answer right there girly. You saw something that triggered it. I totally understand, you aren’t alone. Let me know if you’d like to share more thoughts and we totally can! Sometimes it helps to find a friend with the same theme.
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@bebecoll30 i would love to! ◡̈
bebecoll30bebecoll30
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ksch24 Do you have group me app?
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@bebecoll30 no i don’t, what’s that?
bebecoll30bebecoll30
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ksch24 If you want to just exchange numbers I’m fine with that. Or you can download the group me app it’s a platform to connect with others through messaging.
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@bebecoll30 my number is 8157517371
meowmeow meowmeow
- Date posted
- 1y
hi i don’t know if your still on here but i would love to talk ! i’m going thru the same thing
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@meowmeow let’s talk! i’m still going through it
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 1y
@Ksch24 do you have any social media platforms we can talk on?
KatKaatieKatKaatie
- Date posted
- 44w
@Anonymous i had to delete reddit it’s a compulsion for me :(
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel so different from others
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
Lakeys.25
- Date posted
- 22w
this feels like denial now 😭😭
im so scared that this is just denial and that im actuall gay. idk what to do anymore i need help. its just constant anxiety in my chest and i hate it. is there anything i can do to help?
Dreamydream
- Date posted
- 21w
TOCD
Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like you’re the opposite gender and that’s what you want to be and it’s very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i don’t feel like myself at all anymore. It’s making me not feel like a woman or myself of how I’ve always been my whole life. I’m really nervous and scared, it’s really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): it’s causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and it’s making me feel like I’m attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. I’m in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??
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