Help me please i am dying

It just feel i am a trans in denial pleaaase helllllp

wym? you’re not dying!! I promise you. (I am not familiar with this type of OCD so i do want to tread carefully as to not come off condescending.) but i do want to say, regardless of any preconceived notions you’ve been given in your life, I don’t know why the transgender experience could be the most horrifying thing for to you to be (because that’s often how my OCD worked with me when i was younger, get to that in a bit) but if it is, okay, long journey to go but great!, if not, okay, great, you’re good where you’re at! NEITHER of those options say star1232 is going to die. i’ve had my ocd manifest in so many disturbing ways throughout my life. One of them, in late middle school and early high school, was the devil, or that i’d be a devil worshipper. that i’d be doing the sign of the cross on myself after prayer and unwittlingly do an upside down, Satanic cross. (now, the last thing i’m doing is pulling a conservative scare tactic and comparing transgenders to Satanists, feels like i have to say that rn) I had a vial of holy water next to my bed for whenever these thoughts came across. When i allowed myself to realize WHY i was so terrified of that, and why that perturbed me so much as a thought, it all made sense. It was my parents, it was the church. there wasn’t much social media back then beyond myspace and facebook, so a lot of the trauma was family and church inflicted. but as for you, that might not be the case, i don’t know. but perhaps look into WHY being transgender - whether you are or aren’t - could be the most terrifying thing to be for you. Maybe you are “trans in denial”, and you need to come to terms with it, just like i came to terms with being gay. But there’s also the possibility that it’s your OCD, hence why there’s a whole subsection on NOCD dedicated to Transgender OCD. Whatever the case, being unkind to yourself is never the answer. And you will never get those answers unless you treat yourself kindly and patiently. you’ve got this, i promiseeee. ✨ have a badass day

*”if you are, great!”

but do you want to do it? what gender do you want to be? i also feel like im in denial im in the same boat as you

Hey I just turned 27 if you wanna chat I have the same problem