anyone else get nervous to “look too deeply” into themselves bc of the intrusive thoughts and lies that arise from ocd? when i analyze myself too deeply ocd will tell me that i’m something i’m not
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If you're talking about trying to analyze your mind, that's definitely not going to be helpful because OCD hijacks our cognitive process and there's nothing we need to "figure out" about our OCD thoughts. But if you're talking about meditating or putting awareness inwards, then you're meeting anxiety where it's at. If intrusive thoughts arise, know that it's your mind trying to protect you, it's a false alarm. Your true nature is the silent awareness that watches your thoughts -- you are not your thoughts or your mind. I wish you the best <3
@perasperaadastra thanks! it’s more of me trying to analyze a physical feeling, which i suppose it the same thing. because i analyze my feelings and anxiety (along with intrusive thoughts) arise
@snowflakes Yup, I’d say that analysing (thoughts, emotions, reactions, physical sensations etc) is a compulsion. It’s not dangerous in the sense that you’ll discover something awful in yourself (that’s just ocd nonsense) but it’s “dangerous” in that it will only feed your ocd. Thinking itself isn’t dangerous. So allow yourself to think, to notice things, let your thoughts and emotions be there. It’s safe to experience them all. BUT it’s important not to automatically accept every thought and emotion as truth. (That’s where ocd is trying to go) We have thousands of thoughts a day and most are nonsense, or just background noise we don’t even remember 5 min later. And a lot of it is random. They say nothing about who you are. Because everyone has thoughts and feelings they don’t like or that make them uncomfortable at times. Literally everyone. Your reaction to the thoughts and feelings you don’t want (analysing them, from the assumption there’s something bad about you) is what’s causing your anxiety. So I’d say to try and find a way to expose yourself to your own thoughts and let them be there. Don’t analyse them but also don’t push them away. Let them be there without you doing anything with them.
Yeah I experience this but also in an outward sense too, I don’t want to analyze anything too deeply because I get myself scared. If I find out something uncomfortable my OCD kinda makes me think that the existence of a bad thing taints all life and all existence is bad… I know it’s not true but it gets me freaked out. It’s a weird symptom that only started happening recently. I used to be very happy with my curiosity, but now I’m a little afraid of it because when I reach a point of confusion I spiral
There’s something that happens that keeps me stuck in a thought, it’s when I can see some part of myself agreeing with or relating to it in some way. That’s when the doubt creeps in. If I can understand *why* the thought is there, doesn’t that mean it’s not just random? Doesn’t that mean it actually reflects something about me? For example **(TMI/TW)**: I had the thought, *“I wonder what other people’s kinks are (including friends, family, even teenagers).”* And then I caught myself thinking, *“Well, I guess that could be interesting information… maybe I wouldn’t even stop someone from sharing it with me. Does that mean I actually want to know? Wait—does that make me perverted or incestuous for even having this curiosity?”* The same thing has happened with other thoughts, like wondering what someone’s privates might look like. I recognize that, on some level, that could be interesting—but does that mean the thought is truly mine? Maybe the answer is super obvious and I just can’t see through my OCD smoke. This was a bit embarrassing for me to write 🥲, but can anyone provide some insight?
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.
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