anyone else get nervous to “look too deeply” into themselves bc of the intrusive thoughts and lies that arise from ocd? when i analyze myself too deeply ocd will tell me that i’m something i’m not
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If you're talking about trying to analyze your mind, that's definitely not going to be helpful because OCD hijacks our cognitive process and there's nothing we need to "figure out" about our OCD thoughts. But if you're talking about meditating or putting awareness inwards, then you're meeting anxiety where it's at. If intrusive thoughts arise, know that it's your mind trying to protect you, it's a false alarm. Your true nature is the silent awareness that watches your thoughts -- you are not your thoughts or your mind. I wish you the best <3
@perasperaadastra thanks! it’s more of me trying to analyze a physical feeling, which i suppose it the same thing. because i analyze my feelings and anxiety (along with intrusive thoughts) arise
@snowflakes Yup, I’d say that analysing (thoughts, emotions, reactions, physical sensations etc) is a compulsion. It’s not dangerous in the sense that you’ll discover something awful in yourself (that’s just ocd nonsense) but it’s “dangerous” in that it will only feed your ocd. Thinking itself isn’t dangerous. So allow yourself to think, to notice things, let your thoughts and emotions be there. It’s safe to experience them all. BUT it’s important not to automatically accept every thought and emotion as truth. (That’s where ocd is trying to go) We have thousands of thoughts a day and most are nonsense, or just background noise we don’t even remember 5 min later. And a lot of it is random. They say nothing about who you are. Because everyone has thoughts and feelings they don’t like or that make them uncomfortable at times. Literally everyone. Your reaction to the thoughts and feelings you don’t want (analysing them, from the assumption there’s something bad about you) is what’s causing your anxiety. So I’d say to try and find a way to expose yourself to your own thoughts and let them be there. Don’t analyse them but also don’t push them away. Let them be there without you doing anything with them.
Yeah I experience this but also in an outward sense too, I don’t want to analyze anything too deeply because I get myself scared. If I find out something uncomfortable my OCD kinda makes me think that the existence of a bad thing taints all life and all existence is bad… I know it’s not true but it gets me freaked out. It’s a weird symptom that only started happening recently. I used to be very happy with my curiosity, but now I’m a little afraid of it because when I reach a point of confusion I spiral
i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching
i’ve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. i’ve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. i’m also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. it’s been making me feel crazy because to me there’s no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but it’s like symptoms of ocd too that’s making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? i’ve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel “just right”, but i also do that with any environment i’m in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because there’s something wrong that i can’t find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but it’s also more than that it feels like. however, now it’s spreading into other areas of my house where i’ve always been fine in and possibly to just any area i’m in at all. hence why it’s making me feel crazy because there’s no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as i’ve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. i’m doing a little better, but it’s still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. i’m also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like i’m going insane. i’ve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when i’m this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why i’m so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.
Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help
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