- Date posted
- 1y ago
i have some kind of prejudice about non binary
i wish I didn't but my brain has prejudice and i feel kinda bad
i wish I didn't but my brain has prejudice and i feel kinda bad
Not everyone understands it. I don't even know if some of them do. I'm not sure I completely get it myself but some of them have been the loveliest people I've ever met, some haven't. I went to pride last year with my drag queen friend and that was a genuine shock to the system.
how so? do you want to share your story? :) I dont like having this prejudice but it feels like everybody I know that feels like that has been mean to me or my friends so I just automatically think they are bad even if it isnnot true
@steleven OK just putting in to perspective that the majority of my friends are gay and I'm the token straight guy. When I go out, I always go to the gay bar because they are the nicest people and the guys actually dance rather than being serious wallflowers. There were a lot of genders and sexualities I was seeing out in the open and surprised to see most of them as being quite young like gen z. The older generation wasn't half as mind blowing. There was one grandmother that wanted to talk to my drag queen friend and introduced the grandkid as a drag princess because she wasn't quite old enough yet. I thought it was a girl but this kid probably want even 10 and was in drag or trans, I wasn't even sure. I didn't so much judge them as they were happy and having a great time. Really lovely kid. It was trying to figure out how they would've been exposed to that kind of world and made that decision on their own that confused me. It's just not the world I grew up in. It was a culture shock. As I looked around and questioned how many of the kids were actually trans and I couldn't tell. I stopped questioning pretty quick because there were so many variables and possibilities that I was most likely never going to know and realised that every single one of them looked happy. So I refocused on having fun instead and it was a good day. I think the thing that shocked me initio was, when I was young, I was the "stand out" for being the only vegan in school. Now being vegan is fairly common and this felt like the next thing like that.
@Wolfram hey that is a nice story! I believe I would feel as you did initially thinking how did so young people chose to change genders but it is nice your perspective of looking around and see that all of them are looking happy :)
@steleven It's their life. If they're happy, let them live it. I see a lot of stuff in the news and on talk shows where they purposefully pick people with clear mental health issues to represent the community (they've done it with vegans too) and it gives a completely biased and unfair impression of them as a whole. For an example, an extreme version of prejudice against a group of people is racism. I think it's absolutely insane to hate someone you've never met on the other side of the world purely based on the colour of their skin. You haven't even met them š¤¦āāļø With non binary, it's fairly new and not as commonly known about as race obviously. This gives a lot of people the opportunity to shift opinions in either way based on what information is presented and how it's presented. There is propaganda on both sides. Everyone is an individual at the end of the day, no matter what they or you identify them as. Go off of your own personal experiences with the individuals and try not to group them as public opinion tends to change with the selective info put out there.
@Wolfram i understand what you say and it is not like I go there saying to them that they are not valid. I just wanted to venr because it is something that makes me feel bad but it feels like I cant control how my brain reacts, that doesn't mean that I can't control how my mouth reacts tho
Iām sure binary people have been mean to you at some point in life too. Try to reframe your thoughts. Some people are mean and some people are nice āin every demographic. Get to know one person at a time.
I agree with that last comment completely
that is absolutely valid and I understand but my brain seems to always assume that tehy are going to be mean ik it doesn't make sense tho
@steleven Start making friends with nonbinary people (the ultimate exposure) and hang out with them, form intimate relationships, educate yourself on their experiences, trauma etc. Do this and the prejudice will likely go away :)
@Anonymous I will try :) but i am afraid i accidentally say something bad
@steleven If you do then it is what it is. Itās not about our mess ups but how we react to them when people check us lolā if someone gets upset aim to understand why, apologize, and adjust accordingly. That goes for all relationships in life.
@Anonymous yeah, but there is also no need to judge my fear. Thanks for the advise tho
@steleven That wasnāt my intention but sorry if my comment made you feel judged. If it means anything to youā I do not judge you! You are trying to seek help and thatās admirable.
@Anonymous thank you dear anonymous, I am sorry maybe I overreacted :) I will try to meet people that identify as that so my brain can wire itself to be less judgy thank you for your words
@steleven No problem at all :) wishing you all the best!
@steleven I'm uneducated with religions and afraid I'd say something insulting so I ask questions if they're OK to talk about it
Though I fully support LGBTQ being a person who was raised the way I was I like most people have implicit bias While we should try to do our best to undo that, You cannot really sit down and ruminate the implicit bias away Itās so cliche but love is an action And yes being aware of how prejudices influence your actions is important but your already doing that Your not a terrible person at all š¤
thank you for your words š
Initially *
So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that Iām bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but thatās cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who havenāt spoken in a few years now and Iām over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh thatās life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now Iām mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, Iāve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now Iām just slightly nauseous and worried that I donāt like men as much as I like women but I think thatās normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldnāt even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now Iām nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and itās always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if itās a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? Iām nervous now. I was doing half decently today now Iām nauseous again. Iām worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I donāt like the ones my bf and I have and that I just donāt like him or men cuz Iāve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk whatās wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesnāt erase that I love my bf. Iām worried Iām leaning too much towards women tho and Iām a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if Iām just a lesbian entirely cuz I donāt feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe thatās cuz Iām checking and comparing. Now Iām anxious fuck. Iām trying not to think about her idk why. Iām worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. Sheās in my city. I didnāt care before but now I do. Or if I think about her Iāll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasnāt felt right lately cuz Iāve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasnāt obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didnāt feel passionate. It didnāt feel uncomfortable but I thought itād be more? Idk. I know itās normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isnāt very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didnāt feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but weāve been having sex since august so thatās normal. Idk. I havenāt been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that Iām bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I donāt want to rn cuz Iām dating a man. And I canāt fantasize about sex with him cuz Iām getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz itās been a while but Iām not going to. Iāve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when Iām mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying āOo you think all these women are so hot youāre gonna go feral blah blah blahā and yes women are hot but I donāt wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesnāt bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying Iām a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know itās not true. I love him I know that. Iād be happy if we stayed together. I wouldnāt regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if itās not like porn or the movies. As long as Iām being pleasured and heās being pleasured weāre good. Thatās what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I donāt feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore Iām gay. No I just donāt feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond