Does my past define me?

I made tons of mistakes mainly because of my lack of experience, but there's one that is actually hurting me more than any other, I have given up on over the love my life due to my deteriorating mental illness (OCD) and I know that I have caused her a lot of pain, I know that there are no Justifications for breaking people's heart but I wish she knew the amount of pain that I had to deal with due to my OCD, she knew I had it but she couldn't fathom the amount of distress that it caused me, I chose the coward's way out, I left just like that so I could figure what was wrong with me and now I feel like the most disgusting person on earth. Just wanted to get this of my shoulders, thank you for bearing with me.

Username: A23A23

Date posted: 36w ago

If you live in the present, that the past doesn't really define you. Some say the past is just a memory. If we ruminate on the pass and don't embrace imperfection, then we become fixated on a lesser version of ourselves rather than tapping into the present moment. Therapy and mindfulness can help with this

Username: A23A23

Date posted: 36w ago

*then the

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 36w ago

I find the past doesn't define you, it defines what path you've been on. Keep heading in the right direction, that's in your control. Learning to forgive yourself is more of a blessing than seeking it off of others.

Username: elliss2elliss2

Date posted: 36w ago

I know that situation when I hurt people by my behavior, they think I do this on purpose. But in reality I’m going through a row of triggers etc.

Username: Moha🍃Moha🍃

Date posted: 36w ago

What people fail to know is there is a reason for every action we take and when people are broken from the inside they are compelled to take decisions that make them seem selfish and not caring.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 36w ago

@Moha🍃 Yep. Lost a lot of friends to exactly that. You owe it to yourself to get better. I owe it to myself

Username: Abhi99

Date posted: 5y ago

There are my pasts which I am not proud of and make huge mistakes.......now after so long suddenly these memories are coming back to me.....getting a worse anxiety...and feeling shit about myself...I don't think so I can ever forgive my self It turns me to a bad person...I don't know what to do.....how to live anymore..Is this even normal in OCD....or it's not my OCD...I don't know how to correct my past..

Username: Just another...

Date posted: 4y ago

18+ I was such a horrible boyfriend. I was friendly and flirty with other girls and I would always justify it by saying that I wasn’t cheating (which I never did). I also got super drunk during a family vacation and I don’t remember anything but I fear i may have kissed someone, even though my family has to me that I didn’t because they were with me 99% of the time. I realize however that it doesn’t take a physical act to hurt your partner. Flirting is just as bad. I don’t know why I was that way. I was always an attention seeking idiot. My guilty conscience led me to develop OCD. Now all I do is obsess over every day of my life trying to figure out if I did anything wrong so I can confess it to my partner. I wonder if I’ll ever be enough for her again. I feel so unworthy of her love. She is hurting so much and I can’t believe I caused her that pain. She tells me to let it go but I feel like she deserves to know who I was. She says she forgives me because I am no longer that person but I can fucking forgive myself. I’ve tried meditating and doing affirmations but it’s been months and I feel like I am tainted forever. I led her to believe that I was someone that I wasn’t. I told her I only had eyes for her but I still found other girls attractive and watched porn behind her back. I don’t know what to do. I don’t eat or sleep or do anything but be in my bed crying. I love her so much and I can’t believe I was such a piece of shit. I want to move forward but I don’t know how to. We’ve been together for over 5 years and I can’t believe I am just now realizing all this. I wonder if it’s too late. I’ve been an atheist for years and I’m even praying out of desperation. I hate myself

Username: 🌸

Date posted: 3y ago

People can change right?? I did terrible things..even last year. Probably even this year. Which would make me my fears. But I regret them so much,I generally just want to move on and be a better person, but I feel I don't deserve to..this isn't ocd making a little bad thing bad, these things were terrible. And I know it,, everybody would know it. I just want to love myself for who I am today, not my past. I chang everyday but I generally feel so much guilt and disgust. The ocd with intrusive thoughts that I wanna do it all again. Makes me feel I still am my fears...I hate it so much. This wasn't 1 mistake or 2..or even 3. It was so so so many disgusting, horrible,shameful mistakes. I did for years and years. And I mean 11+ years.

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Does my past define me?

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