PLEASE HELP

So today I was typing a message on my phone and my boyfriend is playful sometimes and likes to try and get on my nerves a little bit, so he started tapping on the screen and I pushed his hand away (maybe a little too aggressively) and said “stop it.” I was getting genuinely annoyed so I walked across the room where he followed me and then started playfully hitting my arm. I said stop and he did it a couple more times then stopped and at that point I was already overthinking (abuse is a common obsession for me; sometimes I’ll even get painful sensations for a long time after in the places he barely touched me) and started asking reassurance questions like “why were you hitting me?” etc. He said I was hitting back, which tbh I don’t even remember if I was—I don’t think I was—and basically just tried to calm me down. We’ve been dating for over 3 years, so he’s very familiar with the way I act and things I say when I’m obsessing. It’s just stressing me out so much, we play fight all the time and I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I have a really hard time trusting him and my brain just ticks every time something like this comes up.

Username: StudybugStudybug

Date posted: 36w ago

Maybe have a conversation with him saying 'I know we play fight and I'm okay with that, however you need to stop when I say stop because when you continue it triggers an obsessive thought for me'. It think just be honest and put boundaries in place

Username: Cinnamoroll Cinnamoroll

Date posted: 36w ago

@Studybug This. ^^ My bf can get very playful at times, but we have an established response for when I want him to stop. For me it’s a tone of voice, or three taps on his body, or a secret word (more so for intimacy lol but it can work outside of that) even. He listens to it. But you have to make sure it’s something concrete that he can recognize without a doubt.

Username: RKRowton2005RKRowton2005

Date posted: 36w ago

@Cinnamoroll Yeah, I said stop several times, but when either one of us is playing like that it can get confusing cause I was also probably laughing while saying it. in my mind, I get so scared that he’s trying to hurt me or that its some kind of red flag when it happens. I talked to him and he seemed to understand though.

Username: BobbyIX32BobbyIX32

Date posted: 36w ago

hey, i really feel for you. it sounds super tough to navigate those feelings, especially when you're already dealing with ocd obsessions around abuse. it's a lot to handle, but it's clear you're doing your best to work through it. 🌟 i'm dealing with a different ocd theme, so i might not have all the answers, but i've found some resources that could be helpful. have you heard of "unstuck ocd therapy tools"? it's this new app that offers ai-personalized guidance and exercises for moments just like this. my local ocd support group recommended it to me, and it's been a real game-changer. also, i've found the ocd stories podcast really insightful; it covers a wide range of experiences and might offer you some comfort or new strategies to cope.

Username: Ryan MullenRyan Mullen

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 36w ago

If you are honest with yourself and can truly see this as abuse then say goodbye. If not and it truly is playful then OCD?

Username: RKRowton2005RKRowton2005

Date posted: 36w ago

@Ryan Mullen I’m sorry, ig I’m not sure what you’re asking me.. yes he was just being playful, he hits lightly and was just trying to annoy me.

Username: RachLK7

Date posted: 5y ago

I obsess over if my boyfriend of 1year is messaging other people, if he doesn’t reply to my messages why? And accuse him of all sorts constantly, if he loves me or why he loves me still when I am the way that I am! When he goes out with friends (like tonight) I will check my phone constantly to see if he has been online and I become so emotionally irrational if he has that sometimes I can’t stop for hours! I have major trust issues also due to a previous abusive relationship ? I feel like I’ve became the controlling one but the OCD is taking over! ?

Relationship OCD

Username: vadavoom

Date posted: 1y ago

18+

recently my real even ocd has been bothering me. I had an intrusive thought that my boyfriend sexually assaulted me and it was bothering to figure out if it was true or not, and I know his intentions are good and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me but I just have a problem trusting people due to my past experiences. I confronted him for reassurance which made me feel worse because my ocd is telling me that I’m being gaslighted and manipulated and that I’m in denial of my ocd. And it confuses me a little because my boyfriend has always respected my boundaries and has never coerced me into sex or has done anything to harm me and he has told me that he would never want to hurt or harm me in anyway.

Username: lollypop48

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

Does anyone else’s OCD take things and run with them? For example, my boyfriend got annoyed with me recently and responded kind of rudely to a question I asked him. I told him that wasn’t fair and he agreed and apologized immediately. But now I keep ruminating on it that maybe this is just him revealing his true self now that we’ve been together for a while. Maybe the real him is aggressive and he’s going to snap at me in the future and I’m going to be stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy! Also I’m fearing everyone reading this won’t believe me that my relationship is good and they’ll be judging me saying it’s not OCD. Struggling right now.

Relationship OCD

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