Really been struggling with std obsession (I’m sure most people have seen by now) I CANNOT seem to fully accept I’m fine? I had have all negative tests, Then a symptom will appear and I feel like the tests need to be done again, despite doctors and nurses and sexual health helpline workers telling me it’s unnecessary and o need help with anxiety. It feels SO possible that I have an std that will ruin my relationship with the love of my life I’m a constant MESS I look gross because I don’t care about my appearance anymore, my work suffers I’m sad all the time and my irritation levels are through the roof and everything feels trivial until I get this sorted. I just wanna know I’m fine. I’m going on holiday with him next week and I’m TERRIFIED because my last relationship I was immediately abandoned by him when we returned too. I feel like to relax is to be negligent and there’s a risk of passing on an std unless I get tested yet again, despite them all telling me I don’t need to I sometimes can think rationally, but then the thoughts creep in again and I’m back at square one. I feel helpless.

Really do your best to resist getting another test, or checking your results or asking for reassurance. Every time you do any of those things it is making your obsession 10 times worse (trust me, I've been there ?) You'll feel anxious if you don't check, but that's the whole point of doing it. The anxiety rises without the compulsion, and then once it starts to fade you will find yourself recovering in the long run

Maybe you should go to an OCD specialist pr psychiatrist and get a diagnosis? That would be a good step forward. OCD is confusing and it traps you in a cycle of utterly stupid thoughts. No matter how irrational they look to everyone else, they feel very real because they are in your head. Tests and checks won't actually make you better - you have had loads of them, and you're still anxious about it! That just screams OCD to me.

Do you think it legitimately is ocd then? Because I really truly honestly cannot tell if it’s my body or my mind, because I have symptoms after the negative tests so I actuLly don’t know if testing again is sensible, or detrimental to my ocd, and I also can’t tell if NOT testing is sensible for my ocd, or negligent for my relationship

I have already been diagnosed with ocd but I don’t believe this case is ocd!!! I believe I have an reason to worry because I love him so much I don’t wanna lose him

The symptoms are what do my head in because I feel like “oh now I need to test again, and if I DONT test again, then my relationship is at risk”

Ah really? Oh dear ahaha OCD attacks things that are important to you - in this case, your relationship. Also, to be honest, even if it wasn't OCD you still don't have an STD and you still don't need to end your relationship haha. Your boyfriend must be a little confused about all the tests, though I'm sure you do make sure you talk to him about it. Many people do urgently need STD checks and treatment. Luckily, you are clearly not one of those people. You've just somehow got it into your head that you need these checks. Seriously, please stop getting tests. They don't help you and they don't help anyone else. Get treatment for your obsession and do your best to stop with the compulsive behaviour. It might sound hard, but it's genuinely the only thing that will ever help

Okay Thankyou for your help and advice, I will take it on because I can’t live like this!! Much love ?

You're welclme, good luck with everything! ???