why is it when i try ‘accept’ the thoughts to let them pass, or try sit with them, it spirals into another one, each a little more realistic as they go. i was doing so well. i’ve not felt so deflated in years 🫤
Two things help me..one I named my ocd. I am not my thoughts. And two I yell at ocd and call her name when doing so. I've found the response prevention piece is super important to stop my looping. I also try to remember ocd ebbs and flows. I was doing good for a month or so and some life stuff happened and right now is more challenging, especially the ruminating in my head. Me and audiobooks are becoming a thing cause it distracts me after I do my response prevention especially when thinking harm thoughts. You said you were doing so well.. can we focus on that? I'm super proud you were doing so well.
@Anonymous what is the response prevention peace? thank you for your support ☺️
@lolplzhelp That's when you leave things uncertain. Ocd hates uncertainty hence the reassurance, ruminating, for me googling, asking people etc. Are you in therapy w an ocd therapist doing erp?
@Anonymous No, not anymore. I was in camhs but i’m nearly 19 now - i was kept in for other reasons but i have one more appointment. thinking about going to see a new therapist i think
@lolplzhelp I don't accept the ocd thoughts, I yell back at them. My response prevention is casting doubt for the thoughts I have. For example if I thought I should put the knives away or hide them cause I might lose it my response prevention would be something like. Well I guess I'll just worry about it when I lose it. I don't know for sure I'm not going to off someone because I'll have lost it. I'll just worry about it when it happens. If I think someone hates me or j did something wrong etc and I want to text them again or message them to get reassurance I say we'll maybe I did something and maybe I didn't. Ocd is yelling at me so I'm again just gonna wait and see. There's a lot of Maybe, we'll I'll worry about it when and if it happens, it could happen i don't know, for my response prevention. If it's harm thoughts about suicide or self harm I say my response prevention then listen to an audiobook.
It takes practice. We're desperate for relief and so we tend to believe that "accepting" or "sitting with" thoughts should work like magic. You have to ride the entire wave. As much as possible continue to live your life :-).
@Ben84 I think it just scares me that i could end up sitting with/accepting the thoughts for a long time and have them not go away, that that would make it a reality sort of thing. I’m not sure. it’s scary!!
You were doing well and are still doing well. Remember Ocd ebs and flows and sometimes there's a spike. I'm in a spike right now and I have to push back and it feels like I'm pushing an entire mountain up a never ending hill
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
So recently my mind is trying to make me feel like I accept the thoughts, like I'm ok with for example loving X person. After I get a thought like that and I realize it I get anxious and, like right now, I cry for 1 hour+ on the bathroom floor. I feel exhausted and I want to know if I'm the only one having this.
does anyone else with this theme feel like their suic. ocd skyrockets when something in your life happens?? i’ve been doing so good managing these thoughts and not panicking, but i had a event happen in my life and all of them are back hitting hard. i’m arguing with myself on whether im actually depressed or not and “what if this means my thoughts are real”, it’s all what if thoughts, but because ive been doing so good with them, what if they are real this time? like im panicking again because im scared they are real? like i’m not depressed im just going through a few things right now. idk what it is. but i really need tips on how to help with setbacks and what to do to stop myself from arguing with my mind when i already know the truth.
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