- Date posted
- 1y ago
No one understands
No one would ever understand how it is to be me. I’m in an endless loop. My mind finds new ways to bully me. I’m exhausted and all I can do is cry cry cry. This isn’t the way to live
No one would ever understand how it is to be me. I’m in an endless loop. My mind finds new ways to bully me. I’m exhausted and all I can do is cry cry cry. This isn’t the way to live
I definitely sympathize with how exhausting it is having cyclical thoughts that try to tear you down and make you devalue yourself. Crying is so justified when something that painful feels inescapable. It’s clichéd, but it sometimes helps me to remember what comes up must come down, so the opposite must be true too, right? Wishing you peace from your brain bully and a brighter day ahead ☀️
That is me right now too. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I know it isn’t a huge comfort but you’re not alone.
Even when people show empathy towards others no one really does know exactly how someone is specifically suffering, unfortunately that is just life . Most people and their problems are unique to them. There is a certain amount of general understanding. But everyone has to be the best version of themselves for themselves and after that assistance to others is good to pursue.
This is me 100%. My mind latches to anything to convince me I’m not a good person. So sorry you’re experiencing this too. I am sure a better days will be here soon. Hugs. ❤️
If there is nothing to obsess on I create something. It's exhausting.
No girl I definitely feel you
Me right now
I struggle with self harm and depression. I told my doctor a week ago that I have suicidal thoughts and she put me on an anxiety/depression med and she said it could make things better or worse. I have noticed I barely eat anything anymore and I started to self harm more. I go through my day struggling and I’ve lost my friends and I stay in my room 24/7. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. People say “oh it’ll get better” or “you’ll overcome it” or “don’t worry it’ll be okay” but guess what it’s not true. I feel like no one gets me or no one will listen to me. No one understands the pain I go through every second of the day trying my hardest to put on a fake smile. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to stop.
I have OCD, but my parents don’t understand what I’m going through. All I wanted was for someone to be by my side and support me, but they dismiss my struggles, telling me to "just stop thinking" and that I’m making a big deal out of nothing. When I asked for a new therapist because my current one isn’t helping—she isn’t even an OCD specialist—they became angry and didn't believe I need therapy and instead blame me for everything. My father was so mad, he insist to gave me a knife and kill myself. He threatened to isolate me completely, cutting me off from school, the internet, and everything else. My mom cried and shut me down when I tried to explain my pain. They refuse to listen and my dad said it’s all my fault. That day they threw me outside the house for a night, and called me back in telling me to forget everything and forgive them, but I understood that I will not be able to mention anything about my mental health or seeing an OCD specialist ever again, I am completely alone now. With no financial support, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever get the proper therapy I need. I’m only 15, but it feels like I’ll be trapped in this suffering forever, I feel hopeless, I feel like shit, I am going to suffer forever with no support and help.
I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍
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