does anyone else find that when you start to get used to the thoughts/they stop becoming so distressing that it becomes difficult to decipher whether you want them or not? i know the fact im posting about it probably shows that i don’t but just out of curiosity do other people relate to that also?
For what it's worth (as someone who's had at least 5 noteworthy relapses) I think you're doing quite well. Now you have to stop obsessing over not obsessing :-).
@Ben84 thank you. that means a lot. i read back on all my posts from 3-4 years ago (i spiralled and wanted to see if i related to my past) and just wanted to say a belated thank you for all the support you offered 15 year old me who didn’t have a clue! you helped more than you could ever have known ☺️☺️☺️
Yup. It's a common obstacle on the road to remission.
@Ben84 it’s really weird. when i dealt with so-ocd initially it was the most intense horrific and confusing thing ever. but i was also 14/15 and knew nothing about anything - im nearly 19 now and i have the same thing but my approach to it is much more calm? which scares me. i’ll be in a group and have these thoughts and want to cry - but the second im on my own i can’t shake the feeling that im only ‘uncomfortable’ with it in a performative sense? i don’t have much of a sex drive due to my own body dysmorphia/adhd/ocd/depression/anxiety/meds which is a huge contributor to why all this popped back into my head so many years later. feeling very lost.
You're most welcome :-). Doing this type of thing was a big reason for wanting to move on with my life. I've worked with countless kids in my career (some as old as 30 now). The thought of them going through something like this was hard to take. Like Virgil in Dante's Inferno, I knew had advanced knowledge of mental illness' terrain. If I was incapacitated or dead, then that knowledge would be useless. You've always seemed like you have a good head on your shoulders. I'm sure a young person will cross your path someday that could use your help :-).
same, my anxiety with so-ocd has gotten pretty low so when i get thoughts most of the time there no anxiety or any feeling behind it and it kind of scares me because then i ask myself does that mean i like it or not, and then i feel stupid and uneasy for even asking that. i also struggle with having no thoughts in my mind which should be a good thing but for some reason it makes me a little afraid. its so weird how we find anxiety and discomfort comforting in a way because we take it as a indication of not wanting what those thoughts say.
yes hundred percent
yeah, i totally get what you're saying. it's really confusing and kinda scary when the thoughts that used to freak you out start feeling almost normal, and you're left wondering what that means about you. 🤯 it's a common thing in the ocd journey, so you're definitely not alone in this. i'm dealing with a different ocd theme, but something that's been a game-changer for me is this app called "unstuck ocd therapy tools." my local ocd support group recommended it, and it's packed with ai-personalized guidance and exercises that help right when you need it. also, the ocd reddit has been a solid place for me to feel less isolated and see how others are managing their ocd. hope this helps a bit! 🌟
Seconding this!!!! The unstuck app is the best thing on my phone for my OCD
It’s definitely the hardest part, especially when the physical symptoms are still there. It really is a mind bender! Chrissie Hodges has a great video on YouTube in which she discusses a similar situation.
So I’m going to college soon and every time I think about it, I feel like the odd one out because of my intrusive thoughts. Like I literally feel like an “intruder” going to school because of how my thoughts make me feel. This is also every time I talk to my friends, my brain is like “your friends are talking to a future criminal”. I just feel like I don’t deserve to be there and have good memories and like my thoughts are inevitable. I feel like a completely different person from who I was before June. Of course I have had these thoughts throughout my life, but nothing that stuck longer than a week or two. It’s so weird how one day your perfectly happy and the other you feel like a completely different person. Furthermore, while these thoughts don’t make me happy and provide anxiety, those feelings feel so forced sometimes. Also I’m sure a lot of us do this, but when I think of the thought and want to feel disgust (as one does), it feels like I’m forcing that feeling. During the beginning of June I was nauseated by these thoughts and crying most days, now they just feel annoying more than anything because there’s nothing I can really do to provide relief. I constantly am questioning whether this is me or not and at this point I don’t even know. I feel like the thoughts have gradually went from making me want to vomit to questioning whether I would actually do it. Anyone else?
nothing feels real right now? and i’m not anxious when the intrusive thoughts come. does this mean i am okay with them? or i agree with them? it feels like im changing.. i don’t want this
i obsess over extremely negative unwanted thoughts and no matter how hard i try to convince myself they’re just thoughts and i don’t actually want that they continue to almost consume me in a way? it’s like a constant battle with myself and there’s been many times where it physically makes me ill and distressed and like i need to tell someone even if it also affects them. i have some decent days where i can fight them but ive noticed when im stressed i can only fight them for so long. i seriously feel crazy 99% of the time and like nobody understands me. everyone always tells me they get bad thoughts too and it’s human which i understand but not everyone gets them to the extent of some others. its to a point where i just want to give up sometimes so i won’t have to deal with the thoughts. of course i never would but my mind does go there.
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