Please please reply!!

Thank you!! Honestly I always feel like I'm doing something wrong to actively ignore a compulsion that is telling me to pray 😭😭 i also feel like the minute I stop is when I'll regret it :(

but I feel like that's offending God :( I also feel like I can't just not because who turns AWAY from prayer I want to turn towards it instead

@Anonymous God would not say something like that to you. You know what would? Your OCD. You're not turning away from prayer you're turning away from your OCD.

@Studybug Wait thank you I actually really needed this reality check!! Right now I am listening to religious prayers on YouTube whilst doing my chemistry homework and I'm scared that if I switch the music something bad will happen to mum because I truly feel like it's wrong. And I keep relating every action to a number which feels right and it's usually 7 or 8 which feels right and 7 relates to something bad happening 😭

@Anonymous So I keep checking the time and adding up the numbers before almost every action to see if it equals 7 e.g 12:38 has number 8 in it😭😭

@Studybug I'm also not diagnosed with OCD soo...

@Studybug Sorry for all the replies, I keep getting afterthoughts! I was just wondering if you were also religious?

@Anonymous Yes I am very very religious and I'm sorry you're going through this. However, the music and the numbers are doing nothing but satisfying an intrusive thought you're having. If people really had so much power to stop harm then the world would be a different place. Just think about all the other days where you haven't done this and your mother has been just fine. The only difference today is you're fixated on this intrusive thought. God knows your heart and your mind, he would never put you or your family in danger.

@Studybug Thank you so much, I really appreciate your advice! This is a really good insight. I am really just finding it hard not to fixate on material pleasures causimf something bad to happen (e.g sound taste touch) because in my religion they're ignorance and your meant to detach as they take you away from God now I ban things like chocolate or music.

@Anonymous I think we may believe in the same God. Yes, God says we should detach ourselves from material pleasures but he also knows that we live in a material world and of course we are going to be impacted by it. That's okay. God doesn't expect you to be perfect.

@Studybug I feel like I'm giving into ignorance and that would cause something bad to happen and I should just sacrifice. People make sacrifices all the time by fasting for example to ask God for certain things, so am I not doing the same thing and sacrificing for a higher purpose? I don't know anymore

@Anonymous God wants you to sacrifice out of your love for him not out fear of anything bad happening. It seems like your mind is using something you care about (your religion) as a way to pull you into doing a compulsion.

@Studybug Wait this actually makes so much sense- thank you!! I went through lots of other ocd themes involving counting things, magical thinking etc but the religious one about praying is the only one which has been the strongest and actually stuck. I guess it's because I do believe in the teaching/principles and I do want to follow them- it's crazy I never thought so much about religion though before in the pandemic I was super scared my family was going to COVID and I prayed all the time for them to be safe :)

@Studybug Hi! I was just wondering if you had any advice :) I was praying yesterday to Krishna (I'm Hindu) and I started to realise that how I'm living is wrong. A few weeks ago I tried to cut out materialistic things and then j started being able just by saying 'i promise to god I will eat this sweet' for example so I'd allow myself to do it. I realised this was wrong and I shouldn't be using God like this and I tried to apologise but I felt so much resistance like I'd done something actually wrong and today I'm back to not listening to music or having chocolate. I also really need to order my friend birthday presents but I can't do it because I don't want to give into looking at material things- I don't know what to do. Sorry that you had to read all of this :(

@Anonymous Wow we pray to the same God! You have to understand that even though Krishna doesn't want us to indulge in materialism he knows that it's unavoidable because we live in a material world and therefore of course it's going to influence us. Krishna doesn't love you any less because of it. But again, I think this is just a compulsion. It sounds like intrusive thoughts are causing you to think that engaging in "materialism" will cause something bad to happen or mean that you are not a good person. Please don't listen to it.

@Studybug Omg wow we do! I really appreciate your insight tysm, it's so diffivult to think clearly and rationally when you have OCD 😭😭 I don't have a diagnosis though because in 17 and I don't want to tell my parents 😂 I really hope whatever your going through with OCD gets better too!

@Studybug I'm also trying to meet the grades for medical school but OCD has just interfered so much 😂

@Anonymous No problem. I've had a alot of religious based OCD so I understand. I've also had OCD for as long as I can remember but I only got diagnosed when I was 20. I would really recommend getting diagnosed. Just remember that the more something means to you, the more OCD will try to attack it but also remember that those thoughts are not yours.

@Studybug Yes, this also makes so much sense :) when I really wanted an offer from my dream uni I also stopped wearing nice clothes, make up, chocolate (all materialistic) and when anything is affecting my senses I feel incorrect. At worst I couldn't eat without repeating 'you're meant to be with Krishna' silently and facing a picture of God whilst trying to neutralise taste 😭

@Studybug I also really hope you get better with your OCD :) a lot of the time I think that because I don't have typical ocd- having blasphemous thoughts about God or religion- I don't have OCD-, but I can't get diagnosed until I am in uni

@Anonymous Those are quite common OCD themes. Until you get diagnosed I would say keep exploring different coping techniques. Wishing you the best!

@Studybug My themes of OCD are quite common? Sorry for all the questions 😭 I wish you all the best too!!

@Anonymous Yes religious OCD is quite a common theme.

@Studybug Oh ok, thank you!!

@Studybug Thank you!!