Username: NODA

Date posted: 34w ago

BIRTHDAY, ALONE AND LONELY

Today is my birthday. A round number. I am alone with my 3 cats. One of them also has birthday today. I am waiting for my husband to come home from quite far away. I have been feeling anxious, worried, sad weeks before this birthday. I have been regretting thing from the past, all the years wasted on OCD and because of OCD. It is horrifying when you realize that half of your life is definitely over and you can barely remember years without OCD. I have been feeling so low that I was thinking of calling my psychiatrist and ask for help. I was scared I might do sth I don't really want to, but was devastated. I managed to get through pre birthday days. Now, I feel so terribly lonely. I have lost my family and relatives as a child because of OCD. Had to run away to save my life. I moved across the country almost two years ago. I have met some people. I got burnt every single times. I was a true friend to 3 women. One of them turned out to be either bipolar or a psycho. The second one with the biggest ego in the world. She would boss around and take advantage even of God him/herself. The third one I lost as a friend yesterday. I have known her for 8 months. I have been by her side through hell and back. She treated me as if I were worth less than all other people in her life. Yesterday I told her how bad she makes me feel, and she got angry and broke up our "friendship". I had often gotten into an argument with my husband over her. He saw through her immediately. He couldn't stand by and look how she manipulated with me. I don't know how to stand up for myself. When I do somehow, I get attacked and thrown away. So today I have been feeling so lonely I can't even describe how lonely. Instead of celebrating, I am alone, nobody except two old acquaintances from far away remembered it's my birthday. I feel worthless. I am driving myself nuts going through all that has ever happened to me over and over again. I still have a few hours till my husband arrives. I was hoping someone here could talk to me,say or post sth funny,... I would appreciate it. It would help me feel less lonely. I hope you are all well and are enjoying such a beautiful sunny day as it is here. I don't know what I would do without the NOCD community. You people here are life saviors. Love to you all guys. All the vest.

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

Thank you so much! My ex friend wanted to make sure I feel like crap today, so she told her friend to lash all over me in a mail. I am actually thankful cause I know I am better off. My hubby is on his way. My 3 cats obviously sense that I am sad, so they are seriously trying to make me feel better, to smile. One is always on me and the other two are like clowns in a circus. I am feeling a bit better. They say, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Thank you all. It's a beautiful day outside. Instead of worrying about dying and the past, I am going to go out for a walk and treat myself to an ice cream. 😊

Username: 777Q777Q

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday 🎂🎁🎈! Hang in there . You are never really alone with 3 cats 🐱, at least .

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

Thank you! You are right. Cats are amazing companions. Have a great day.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday. It'll get better. It is sad to think about all that is lost because of events or mental health but focus on where you are going or want to head. It's OK to be selfish sometimes. Your life is yours, not anyone else's. Hope for something new lies withing the uncertainty of the unknown. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always had. I hope the rest of your day gets better. Haply birthday Noda 😊

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

Hello. Thank you. I agree. Seeing all these replies really cheered me up. My hubby is taking me out for late lunch. Life is great with NOCD community. Thanks. Till Monday when we start. 😊. Enjoy your weekend. Love.

Username: Ben84Ben84

Date posted: 34w ago

Hopefully one of these helps :-) https://youtu.be/88KQ27f6UXY?si=Px3ZYFau1jqZZhn2

Username: Ben84Ben84

Date posted: 34w ago

https://youtu.be/98ThUqGSfEI?si=r0o3X7lhQ5dQnG0y

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

THANK YOU! I DO FEEL BETTER! New kids on the block were a part of my good years. It's a beautiful birthday song. And I just love the Swedish chef. I did laugh. Thank you. I hope you are having a nice day.

Username: Amara Amara

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday. 🎂 It's not your fault, just finding good firnds nowadays is rare 🙂.

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

Thank you very much! Yeah, that is so true! Have a great day. 😊

Username: FromthegroundupFromthegroundup

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday 🎈🎈🎈 Sometimes it takes some time to evaluate the friendships we have and voicing our needs and wants. The outcome is you have more space to invite new people Into your life or to spend more time on you. All very exciting .. All we have is the beautiful moment of the NOW to create and enjoy life . So good luck with your journey hehe

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

This is so beautiful. So uplifting. So true. I agree with it 100%. Thank you a lot. Enjoy your weekend.

Username: FromthegroundupFromthegroundup

Date posted: 34w ago

@NODA Absolutely... Easy does it 🤗

Username: rcreillycasercreillycase

Date posted: 34w ago

Hey it’s my birthday too. We can make it through this. I scheduled my first appointment for tomorrow. I hit rock bottom yesterday and decided I needed to make a change

Username: FromthegroundupFromthegroundup

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday!!! We absolutely can and will. I am going to put on my running shoes and go out for a jog this morning. I haven't in 2 years but I am inspired by all of you...

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday!!! 🎂💐. I am sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. We are all here together. We will make it through somehow. Good for you - running. I also took a nice walk. All the best to you too.

Username: Hopeful29Hopeful29

Date posted: 34w ago

We are here for you

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 34w ago

Happy birthday!! I get you - I don't like birthdays at all... Be kind to yourself and try to not ruminate about the past. It's hard to find true friends - I really wish you will in the future. There is always hope - hang in there!

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

Thank you very much. Now that my husband is here it's easier. I am trying to focus on the present moment. It is really hard to find true friends. I don't get it. It was so easy to find and have a friend when I was growing up. Many and many years ago, before there was FB, Instagram,... Today everyone lives in their small made up world in which they are the smartest, always right, greedy, selfish. Last August a local psychology clinic decided to test people's empathy. They sent a woman approximately 45 years old to a park in the center of the town with a ten year old daughter. They both were crying and the daughter was trying to calm the mother. In a few hours, hundreds of people walked by. Some even knew them. Not even one stopped to ask if they need help, if they can help. I was on my way to the emergency room in the hospital because my doctor sent me there because my blood pressure was very high. 198/120. I didn't have anyone to take me. So I had to rush home, feed my cats, catch the last bus to the hospital where they wouldn't let me go for 8 days. And on my way there, I saw this woman completely devastated and in tears and a kid daughter frightened for her mother. Their dog was being put to sleep at that time. Funny how all came together. Experiment and their personal loss. So they were not acting. I stopped, I did my best to calm them down. I sat with them until her ex-husband arrived and I kept in touch. She had no Idea I was supposed to be in the hospital at the time. I did not even want to worry her so in the first few days I didn't tell her I was at the cardiology ward. She said, people just walked by and looked the other way. I was the only one who cared. I can't imagine not stopping. I can't imagine people being so self absorbed and with such lack of empathy that they can decide not to see others in need. So, I don't think there is much hope for them to be real friends either. Thank you for your kind wishes. It means a lot to me. Have a great weekend. 🤗😊

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 34w ago

@NODA Yes, it's a sad developement in society...But as long there is people as you, and many others...there is hope. I believe light is stronger than darkness. Maybe you can find friends in some kind of community. I have found friends in church and also when I sing in choirs. Wishing you the best - sounds like you have a beatiful heart!

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

@Estrid Thank you so much. That is an idea to think about. I will check out what options there are for me. Maybe I could join a group at church or join a community that shares my interests. I love singing. I sing. But in all honesty, I think if I joined a choir, Ai would soon be the only member left. The others would run away. 🤣. We'll it's not that bad. I used to sing in choirs as a child. I am just rusty. Than you for the compliments. It helps form a better picture of myself. I am thankful for this community. You are life saviors truly. Love.

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 34w ago

@NODA I also sang in choirs as a child😊 During the pandemia I struggled with longtime covid, OCD and GAD - I was near giving up. I found out that I had to meet people again (when the restrictions has lift) - and I began to sing in two different choirs, one on an easy level and one more qualified, I didn't think I should manage, but I did!! And it has lifted my mood in so many ways! It has triggered my OCD many times, and I have tried to see it as an opportunity to do value based exposure. I am so thankful I have my choirs and the singing.

Username: NODANODA

Date posted: 34w ago

@Estrid I am sorry you had to struggle so much. I am so glad you found comfort in singing. Beautiful. Bravo for you! I will think about where do I see myself as a member and then look up if there exist any such community. Thanks for the idea. Have a lovely Saturday. 😊

Username: o: O: Devon ...

Date posted: 5y ago

It’s my birthday today and I was wondering if any of you could share some encouragement or your favorite quote. OCD and depression have been dominating and I really want to get my life back!!

Username: Zozo94

Date posted: 2y ago

Intrusive thoughts ruining my birthday

It's my 28 birthday and my intrusions have been getting the worst of me today. I feel like I'm losing my mind and for what, another year around the globe losing my mind? Today was supposed to be a good day and I can't help but fester on my intrusive thoughts. I honestly hate life right now and it feels like I was born just to feel this pain that won't go away. I'm sorry is so depressing of a post I just need to let it out.

Username: OCDjules

Date posted: 2y ago

It’s my bday, and ocd is rampant

Feeling really down. It’s my birthday and my ocd has majorily spiked. It started getting bad on Sunday. Could use some encouragement

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