- Date posted
- 1y
HOCD - I’d LOVE some advice to overcome this
so I’ve been dealing with ROCD for a hot minute and I guess it decided to switch to HOCD. I went to a women’s soccer game and I feel like I was triggered hella there (no judgement at all ) I met some new friends and there was this one particular girl that I thought I could actually be friends with bc she reminded me of my old friends back home and I just thought she was funny/ a good time. Fast forward to that night we all end up going out to a bar and we met up with our boyfriends. This girl didn’t have a man, I have no idea if she’s straight/bi whatever. I didn’t really talk to her throughout the night unless she was at the table with us , and then by the end of the night my boyfriend and I drove her home bc she was plastered plus some of our friends joined for the ride as well. While getting into the car she goes “omg ‘my name’ i feel like you’re playing cat and mouse with me” (idk why she would say this bc i literally would like mess with her or if she was dancing by me id dance too so idk where tf that came from) and my one friend was like “that sounds a little gay” AND WHEN I TELL YOU MY STOMACH DROPPED hearing that, it did. this happend on Friday and I have been thinking and ruminating “if I am secretly gay” “did she notice something in me that I haven’t noticed in myself” “did I talk to her in a flirty way that like made her think I was gay”. So alas, I am on here to find comfort bc now I don’t want to even see or hangout with this girl anymore and I’m like scared when I see her she’s going to say some dumb shit like this again. No judgment to anyone who is gay, and I know it’s not a problem to be gay or whatever but I know I don’t like girls lmfao.