Newly married / OCD anxiety around cheating I wanted to discuss some major life events and how theyve been affected by OCD. First off, I got married last Saturday. I love my wife more than anything in the world. She is, and our relationship is, a common target of my OCD. We’ve been together three years and I proposed to her last year. I’ve been dealing with issues of scrupulosity and honesty as well as confession rituals. The trouble is, that I tend to confess all of my perceived, or maybe actual, wrongdoings to her all the time. The scrupulosity thing means that I have to be completely 100% honest all of the time. I know this sounds like a good thing, but it makes me analyze every single word I say. For instance, about a month ago, something came between us one night and I remember being upset her about something. She told me that she loved me And even though I’ve been telling her that I love her for two years and that I continue to tell her all the time, something in my mind told me that if I were to say, “I love you” right now that it would be untrue and I would be a liar. So, in that moment I couldn’t say it. I was also just having little doubts about our relationship even the night before our wedding. But the thing is, I love my wife more than anything in the entire world. I would have never dreamed of calling off the wedding. I never want to be without her. I think that I was just annoyed or upset with her about something, and my OCD ran with it. I felt guilt for experiencing these feelings the night before our wedding. Our actual wedding day was perfect. I am truly so lucky to have her as my wife. She’s the love of my life. Which is why the OCD stuff targets her so much. I know I’ve talk to you about a lot of the sexual OCD hangups I have. Another fear that I have is that I have somehow committed act of infidelity. This came up early in our relationship. I would feel bad if I even made eye contact with a person that I found attractive. I still suffer from this fixation. The OCD part of my brain tells me that I have to confess every time I may have a fleeting fantasy about someone else or if I look at someone else in a way that is driven by attraction. I think the thing that terrifies me is the fear of committing some small act of “cheating” merely by looking or acting a certain way around someone. Today, I was riddled with guilt. I have a coworker who is a very attractive girl. I would never in a million years cheat on my wife. But the other day I remember having sexual thoughts about this coworker and even though I was trying to shut them down, I am worried that I may have indulged them for just a moment. I also worry that I may have “acted on”this desire by making a joke in front of this person. I feel as if I told this joke to make this person think that I’m funny. I am not 100% sure why said the joke, but my brain tells me That if I told the joke to make her think that I’m funny, that that is as bad as cheating and that I have already cheated on my wife. This kind of thing happens all the time and I end up confessing to my wife that I found someone else or that I looked at another Woman a way that may not have been completely innocent. This act of confession feels like it frees me. I do it all the time. I hate telling her anything about having thoughts about other women, but my brain tells me that it’s the right thing to do.