Harm ocd

Hi, I have a 15 year old son who is an identical twin and both boys suffer from OCD. With one it’s under control, the other one is kind of in a crisis, every single thing that the boy does is built around his rituals. He is late to school, he hardly sleeps, and is up all night, he avoids touching things, washes his hands all the time, refuses to sit down, or sit on a certain chair, or walk through the kitchen a certain pathway, or even enter the living room. He does this ritual in the morning with his sneakers before he puts them on and has been late to school so far 4 times this year even though his alarm is set for 45 minutes earlier than it was last year. He told me a while ago he’s scared, and he wants to talk to somebody, and the psychiatrist recently put him back on sertraline. It’s killing me to see my kid like this & the family (6 of us, me & my husband & 4 kids) has no patience for him anymore.

I don’t know what to do! My 13 year old son has suffered with intrusive thoughts for years. He feels guilty of things he’s done in the past when he was super young and obsesses over it to the point that he has to come clean about everything!! He fears that he may be a phedophyle at times because of intrusive thoughts. He’s on Zoloft 75 for it, it was getting better for a bit but it’s getting aggressive again! He is so kind and such a good son and person. He is in counseling but his counselor doesn’t specialize in OCD. I don’t know if I should have them change his medication, idk if there’s a medication that will help him more. I’m so scared I suffered with intrusive thoughts as a kid and teen, I never got help but I’m good now.

I have had what I think is Harm OCD since the age of 10. My mom didn’t understand when I told her “I feel like I might kill someone” which ultimately led to me suffering in silence until the age of 20 where I was just diagnosed with GAD. Since being on Zoloft for over 10 years I did relatively well. I would have small flair ups, but was able to pull myself out of it. Now, since having my second child, I have completely relapse and I struggle almost daily. I was weaned off of Zoloft and put on Lexapro. Which seemed to work and now I’m back to square one. TL;DR My thought is that I would choke my children. It sometimes almost feels like and urge (my hands feel weird). This is the last think I ever want to do and it causes me distress to the point of panic. TW: Sucide. Sometimes I think it’s better if I’m just not here because I wouldn’t be a danger to my children. I often think about movies like shutter island and think I am like that mother. Or real some real like mother that drown her children that I saw on the news when I was a kid. It has also turned into Psychosis OCD at times where I am so afraid I am developing psychosis and that I would hurt my kids from that. Which comes with its whole own set of “rules” and fears. I’m just trying to find some confirmation that this is actually ocd or if I have something else. I’m just struggling. Thanks for reading.