Depersonalisation

I’ve been going through what I suspect is depersonalisation for the past 6 months (triggered by a bad ocd episode) It’s been a really bad period and after this much time I feel like my depersonalisation (if that’s what I have) has gotten so complex that I’ve started to really forget who I am, how I used to act, what I believe in, I feel like I’ve completely lost my own identity. Thinking about past memories hurts, thinking about people I love hurts, I am not sure what to do anymore. I have been told to try and get on with my life by many people online and the depersonalisation will go away by itself, unfortunately that is not the case as whenever I try to get on with my life it gets worse and I feel even more disconnected. I feel like the only time I feel like I’m getting somewhere is when I sit and try to think back of the ocd episode that triggered all this, almost like I have unprocessed emotions from that episode that needs solving in order for my depersonalisation (if that’s indeed what I have) to go Please, if you’ve been through something similar let me know, have you ever felt like on ocd episode is holding you back from your life and is making you feel disconnected from yourself until you go back and process it? As if it was some sort of traumatic memory that needs processing? Don’t hesitate to leave a comment and thank you in advance :)

Username: malolin_21malolin_21

Date posted: 33w ago

I am dealing with despersonalization and derealization and i can tell it’s a really horrible experience, my biggest fear is that i’m about to lose my mind and hurt people i love, so i feel really disconnected from my body and constantly feeling like i’m not myself anymore, like i’m just waiting for the moment i finally gave up on my intrusive thoughts, i know is really scary and i know it makes you feel like your hopeless or that you’re never gonna be able to enjoy life again but trust me, we have to keep fighting ! i’m here if you want to talk

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 33w ago

I’m not an expert and just telling you what has helped me in my journey. Let the DP-DR be without engaging or judging it and choose to go about your day in line with your values. I know it’s easier said than done. It took me a while to learn that I can choose to disregard rather than distract myself and go about my day. And that I can sit or bring the DR-DP along for the ride knowing that I can handle the discomfort. All while accepting the uncertainty. Hope this helps you!!! BTW, I’m reminded of the Wednesday night webinar where Dr McGrath asked the question, would you rather live your life as a rockstar or pay attention to what OCD is telling you???

Username: BobbyIX32BobbyIX32

Date posted: 33w ago

hey, i'm really sorry you're going through this. depersonalisation sounds incredibly tough, especially when it feels like it's stripping away at who you are. 😔 it's like you're stuck in a loop trying to grasp onto something that feels like it's slipping further away the more you try to hold on. i've had my own battles with a different ocd theme, but the feeling of being trapped by your own mind? that, i get. so, i wanna share something that might help a bit. there's this app called "unstuck ocd therapy tools" that my local ocd support group recommended. it's pretty neat because it offers ai-personalized guidance and exercises for those moments when you really need it. it might not solve everything, but it could give you some tools to help manage those overwhelming feelings. also, i've found the ocd stories podcast super helpful. it's filled with real-life experiences and insights that can make you feel less alone in this. 🌟

Username: PhillipFillip1PhillipFillip1

Date posted: 33w ago

Great suggestions!! I have also been using the unstuck app over the last few months and I have to say its been really helpful. The developers are very supportive and make new updates every week.

Username: enoughocd

Date posted: 2y ago

Depersonalisation / existential OCD

Please comment if you have experienced severe depersonalisation where you feel unsure or doubtful about specific events? I was driving with my girls from a long trip and the whole time I was pre occupied with thoughts and anxiety asking myself if I was really behind the wheel? Are my kids with me in the car right now? Have I already harmed my kids in any way while being totally oblivious to what happened? Then when we got home , the thoughts continued on with doubts like did we make it home or did I get into a car accident and because I’m feeling so depersonalised I couldn’t reassure my self that we’re home safe and nothing like that happened …lately my DP and ocd have gone to the next level where I don’t feel like im a person , this morning for example I felt like I was a box with all these contents inside it and this feeling makes me feel like im going lose my mind and end up with some psychotic illness where I’ll get dumped in some mental institution 🥲🥲🥲🥲

Username: abdel1278

Date posted: 46w ago

Anyone have any tips/experience with this?

I have this issue that I need help with and I would like to hear if anyone else has gone through something like this along with any tips. A few months back I had what was arguably my worst OCD episode in my whole life, it lasted a whole week, in this week I felt nothing but constant anxiety and obsession over this thought, it was like nothing in life mattered except this thought and that lead me to really become disconnected from what’s around me and become so occupied in my own head. After this week, I felt extremely numb and disconnected from myself and my identity which lead me to go down a spiral of disconnection and I had a lot of nostalgic sadness due to thinking “I miss the old days when things were so simple and I didn’t have severe ocd” and this caused me to become very sick of ocd thoughts to the point of suppressing them. Now it’s been quite some time and I have become much calmer but I still feel 2 main things from this extremely bad OCD episode that have stuck with me. 1) I feel extremely disconnected from my identity, my thoughts and emotions, I cannot name my emotions nor embrace them anymore and I can’t think straight (brain fog). 2) that sense of continuous background anxiety that I experienced in that week in my bad OCD episode has stuck with me and now I feel that anxiety all the time for no particular reason along with feeling dull, sad and disconnected. I feel like I have unresolved emotions and experiences from all this but at the same time I feel like I can’t point out anything specific that is causing me to feel this way. I have searched up symptoms for generalised anxiety disorder because of my continuous anxiety but I do not seem to match any of the symptoms, in fact I currently never feel anxious about anything except things related to my bad OCD episode. Please do not hesitate to leave any helpful comments if you have any :) and thank you in advance.

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w ago

DPDR and pure O

I’ve been suffering from non stop 24/7 dpdr for a year and a half now. I never really had OCD in a big way before I suffered some major panic attacks. Since then I’ve been a completely different person. I used to live a carefree life of traveling. Socializing. Experiencing life. After my panic attacks I became agoraphobic, couldn’t leave the house or work. My thoughts were like a washing machine over and over. I’ve done a lot of work to help overcome the fear of panic, but I’m still stuck in a 24/7 DPDR state- my thoughts never stop, I’m always searching for answers about my mental health, I have music stuck in my head from the time I wake up to the time I got to sleep, my mind is racing, attacking what I value, saying hopeless thoughts, anxiously worried about everything, I don’t do physical compulsions but I’m mentally checking myself all the time to see if I’m in DPDR still, or if things feel “weird” - I have a huge fear of going crazy and death. Although I’m not having panic attacks anymore, I’m still mentally anxious all the time. I feel like I cannot escape my thoughts, they torture me. I can’t feel any emotions, I’ve lost my sense of self, I can’t make new memories or be present - I’m constantly in my head. A lot of what kicked this off was years of trauma that was stored in my nervous system, once unleashed, I haven’t been able to recover. I want my life back. I’m tired of living in fear and exhaustion to the point where nothing brings me joy. Anxiety and ocd have taken my freedom from me, I feel like the thoughts rule every decision I make instead of being able to live freely, sometimes I don’t think it’s anxiety because I can’t feel anything physically, but these thoughts torture me- no one should have to live this way. What do I do? I’m taking medication but all it’s done is stop the physical symptoms, the thinking has not gotten better

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