My anxiety has been terrible everyday for 8 months straight due to engagement and getting married. I am now a month away and everytime I see my partner I start really freaking out over height. The anxiety is so intense nothing is helping. I just cry everyday. It doesn’t feel like ocd but real thoughts. What do I do:( please help me.
Marriage is a massive step in a relationship. I feel that would make anyone anxious and second guess themselves, OCD or not. Unfortunately, as I’ve been learning, I don’t think anyone is going to be 100% certain about spending the rest of their life with someone. It’s such a massive commitment.
Hi! I know it’s really hard, but try to live with the uncertainty of it all. Marriage is a huge commitment, and I think everyone has doubts and fears about it. Just silently acknowledge these feelings and thoughts and try to move with them, rather than pushing them away. Try some techniques to connect yourself back to your body and out of your mind, like mindful breathing, meditation, the butterfly hug, etc. acknowledge how the anxiety is making you feel and where it’s originating from, but don’t try to fight it. I know it can be overwhelming but it’s just your body trying to express itself in the only way it currently knows how. It’s tough work but you got this!! And it never hurts to talk to your partner about your feelings and explaining to them what you need. Maybe they can even join you in practicing some techniques!
@danir_2006 What do you do when you feel like you can’t take it anymore. It is to the point that when I am looking forward to seeing him and see him the entire night I am sitting with these thoughts so intense nothing helps.
@bruin - For me, if it’s super overwhelming, I find it helping to let myself feel the feelings. Let myself cry and shout and hurt, while talking about it with someone. People with OCD don’t always think logically and we all often tend to jump to conclusions that aren’t necessarily accurate or complete, and it can sometimes help to have another person to help shift your viewpoint. Another method I’ve heard if you’re not comfortable sharing with someone else, is imagine yourself if you *didnt* have OCD. Imagine how you’d react or feel towards whatever doubts you’re having. And if all else fails, and my brain is super fried from all the emotions and thoughts, personally I find drinking some water, getting some fresh air, or sleeping until I feel more calm and logical can help. You’re not alone in this, and I promise you that so many other people have been where you are now. There *is* recovery and there *is* something beyond the OCD. Which is important to remember. YOU are not OCD. You live with OCD. You are more than just your disorder. Something my therapist has taught me recently is to voice these other things about me that make me who I am, to change the view that OCD is this big, strong monster that is all encompassing and debilitating to the rest of who we are, to understand that it is an ASPECT of what makes us, us, but there is so much more to us than just the OCD. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I’m an artist. I’m funny. I’m loud and boisterous. I’m unhinged. I’m beautiful. I’m tired. I love and care about the people around me a lot. So what about you? What are some things that make you… YOU. Not the OCD, not what it’s saying you are or what you think, but other aspects of your personality and interests? Or your life?
Hi all - so over a period of nearly eight years, I have experienced intense ROCD (relationship OCD) with my partner. Last week we got engaged, this wasn't a huge surprise as we were talking about it for months in advance. My intrusive thoughts tend to flare up really badly in times of change, even positive change. When we graduated university, when we moved to our flat, and when I started my job are all times I've had flare ups so the fact that I'm having another flare up now shouldn't have come as a shock - but I'm finding it so hard to cope with. The night of our engagement, after about five mins of initial anxiety from the shock, I was on cloud nine and couldn't wait to tell friends and family and begin planning our wedding. However, the next day, the rumination began. "Have I made a terrible mistake, do I really love him, am I just settling, everyone is so happy for us but I'm faking my emotions, if we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together I should be happy, not anxious, etc." this has totally ruined our first week of what should be the happiest time of our lives. There are zero red flags in our relationship, in fact, the night before we got engaged I remember thinking to myself that I had honestly never been happier. I'm super lucky in that my partner knows about my anxiety, is so thoughtful, and has been constantly reassuring me that all will be well, we've been here before countless times and have always come through. My parents and best friends have also been super supportive as they know what my triggers are, and I've had some lovely messages from them. I'm looking for good coping mechanisms for how to deal with the thoughts and stop putting pressure on myself, as I'm currently stuck in that horrid cycle of endless reassurance and spikes and it's doing me no good at all. Can anyone who has ever been in a similar situation help? X
I’m getting married in six days but I have relationship OCD and I am having some MAJOR anxiety! I feel so bad like calling it off. What do I do??! I just need some help ASAP and some techniques please please!
This is just kind of a rant but any encouragement would be so much appreciated, thank you ❤️ I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is incredible, kind, funny, smart, hardworking, so so loving-just an extremely good person. In 2021 I developed or at least recognized my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression, definitely quite the list. Each of these conditions mingle with each other and make life very difficult at times. At the beginning it centered around me being a bad person but slowly grew to be relationship OCD. I have fears that I don’t really love him, I’m not actually attracted to him, I’m going to cheat on him, he doesn’t make me happy or that he would be better without me and is a better person than me. Lately I have this fear that one day not to far away he will prepose to me and I won’t be excited. Or that he will feel more for me then I do for him, or that I will have to fake my excitement. I have this vision of myself feeling nothing when he asks me and having to fake it. It’s just such a sickening thought to imagine not feeling the intense joy I always knew I would feel if he proposed to me. It’s so strange because before I had bad OCD I used to dream of that day, I would ask if he thought he might prepose to me one day and if his answer wasn’t certain enough I would feel very sad. It’s terrible because I’ll get depressed and feel nothing positive for any aspect of the world-including my relationship, but OCD will take that and twist it into me not feeling anything positive for him. Which will in turn make me feel more depressed. You ever just want to hide and pause the world for a little while so you can catch your breath? It feels like the weeks go by so slowly but still suddenly I’m nearly grown up.
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