i'm scared

im scared im not a good person and i never will be. ive had real events about obsessions before but i always thought its nothing i cant beat with self compassion and therapy in the future but i feel like a horrible person for things that happened years ago and even the memory is fuzzy. i was a toxic child who shouldnt have been on the internet but im scared i was responsible for something bad. i hate myself. this doesnt feel like something any amount of self compassion could ever fix

Username: ZeicheleZeichele

Date posted: 27w ago

It’s going to be okay! It’s hard to fight against those thoughts. I have real event OCD as well and what helps me is saying “I can’t go back and change anything so I shouldn’t obsess about it in the present” also remembering that if the thought starts with “what if” it’s an intrusive thought and that is not you talking! Keep fighting!🩵

Username: BobbyIX32BobbyIX32

Date posted: 27w ago

i'm really sorry you're feeling this way, it sounds incredibly tough to deal with those thoughts and memories, especially when they linger and affect how you see yourself now. it's clear you're trying to approach this with self-compassion and an eye towards healing, which is both brave and important. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck?" i've been in your situation before, and what really helped me was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended to me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it's designed to provide personalized, step-by-step support when OCD gets difficult, just like an OCD therapist. it can help you work through these feelings of self-doubt and guilt in a structured way, helping you to manage your thoughts without being overwhelmed by them. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: chamomilegirl

Date posted: 4y ago

I have Real event ocd about things I did as a kid at 12/13. It’s killing me because it really happened but I feel like a different person now completely. my actions disgust me and it makes me feel like i don’t deserve to be alive. I constantly have flashbacks about the events and it sends me into a state of panic, I feel as if my younger self has traumatized my older self. i’m so scared that things I did make this true, i really am a bad person, even though i’m an adult now and would never never ever do that again. I’m so scared. All I want is to be a good person but I keep remembering gross things I did and now I feel like the biggest fraud to friends and family and everything good in my life.

"Pure" OCD

Username: muffpuff

Date posted: 2y ago

i'm so tired

i'm tired of the fear of becoming something horrible. im tired of feeling like i'm an irredeemable monster. im tired of thinking about what happened every hour of my life. im tired of the fear of being a bad person. im tired of never feeling like i deserve anything. i'm tired of the ruminating, the anguish, the guilt, the regret, the pain, the anger at myself. i dont know what i want. it feels as if making my life better will be like excusing my actions. i feel like i deserve this pain. my genuine emotions feel like a facade. im so scared. i dont want to be a bad person. why did i think it was okay in the moment. why.

Username: MessyBrain

Date posted: 32w ago

serious question

i've made so many mistakes in life, big and small, some multiple times. How am i supposed to know if i just have scrupulous and real event ocd or if im just rightfully feeling guilty and ashamed of things i've done wrong? what if having ocd is just an excuse to deflect from the shame i feel and convince myself im not a bad person so i don't have to actually fix myself? i fear this all the time. i cannot stop feeling like im a bad person no matter how many times i tell myself that im doing my best and that its okay to make mistakes and learn from them and it doesn't define me. i don't think im a good person and being complimented on being good in any way triggers me extremely bad. i don't know what's real.

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