is there something wrong with me

Hi everyone, this is my first post on the forum, and honestly, it’s one I wanted to use to reach out and feel a little bit less alone, and possibly ask some advice to people who have been where I currently am! I have gone through a few OCD themes over the years, including harm OCD, POCD, moral scrupulosity and a few other smaller themes, but in the last year I’ve really hit Existential OCD hard, as I’ve managed to accept and move past all my old themes. It started out quite “normal” for Existential OCD; Solipsism fears, Simulation fears, am I even real, what even is real kinda stuff, that I’ve often come across when looking at other people’s experiences. I’ve done a lot of work to move past these themes and have had a good level of success. But recently, and this is what I really wanted to reach out and see if anybody else has experienced something similar; I’ve found that I’ve started experiencing fears around more physics based things, I was freaked out by the fact we are made up of atoms and how can we be us if we are a load of little floating items, I was freaked out by things like multiverse theory, black holes and many many more physics based concepts. I’ve been struggling to move past these as, as my brain keeps reminding me, they are real, proven concepts as opposed to things like simulation theory which, maybe is, maybe isn’t. Has anyone else been down this road after the “normal” existential topics? And could you share some insight into how you might have moved past these particular fears that are more grounded in real concepts as opposed to more philosophical ideas? Thanks guys!

Everyday I wake up with a pit in my stomach and it doesn’t go away. I question reality and if anything is real. How it’s real and why it’s real? Everyday I wake up I’m disappointed I don’t have answers to life. By answers I mean the afterlife (if there is one) I find it hard to accept someday our life ends. It makes me wonder if life even has a point. It consumes me everyday and I can’t function normally. I wonder what I’ll do when my family members pass and where they’ll go. If I’ll ever see them again. I cry every night because I genuinely don’t know how I’ll handle that one day. I’m deeply afraid of losing the people I love and never seeing them again. Overall, I question everything about life. There’s so I don’t know and I know I can’t find the answer and that devastates me. I truly wonder how I got here and why I was chosen to be here. It freaks me out. I try to find solutions. For example, I consider myself agnostic. And I would like there to be a God but it’s difficult for me to believe it without evidence. What if it’s not real? And there’s so many things out there. I wonder if reincarnation is real or if it’s just something us humans made up for comfort. I’m working on my relationship with God but I don’t know. I feel guilty because I feel like I’m only doing it because I’m afraid.

Im easily scared so please be gentle. My ocd lately has been stuck on “how are we even here?” “What if this is fake” “how are we in a globe”. Super weird questions that I can’t answer or get my thoughts off of it. Anyone else out there with the same? I haven’t found a lot of people with existential ocd.