I'm unable to feel okay but treatment scares me

Hello, this is my first post. I'm Mag (or Maggie) and I'm 24. I have OCD. Last few months it has been really tough. I finally sought help a month ago (I was diagnosed with it for a year already but didn't receive treatment). After an assessment, I was told that in my case it is highly recommended to start with medication. This terrifies me. I am terrified by the thought of medication changing who I am. On another hand, I am barely keeping it together. I cry a lot. I obsess so much and the compulsions barely make it better anymore. I am unable to feel normal anymore whenever I'm home, alone with my thoughts. I feel sick a lot. I'm exhausted all the time. Yet the medication somehow still seems scarier than all this. I don't know what to do.

Phillip91

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Welcome to the community Mag. I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now. I was very similar to you where I was deathly afraid of taking medication for fear of it changing me. Honestly, every time I took my sertraline pills it was an exposure. Medication is a personal decision, but for me it was extremely helpful as a part of my treatment. My understanding is that medication makes it easier for your brain to implement the skills you learn doing ERP. I also have only had one full blown panic attack since being on medication - so that’s been an added bonus! Medication can make things feel worse before they feel better, and can take months before you notice positive change. You may also have to try a few different things before finding something that works for you. But in my case, it’s absolutely been helpful. The only thing that’s changed is the severity of my OCD has gotten less. I’m still me, and in fact I’m more myself because I have more headspace for the things and people that I love. Whatever decision you make, we’re all here for you!

120

Date posted: 1y

If you’re not sure about medication then do what you can in the meantime. If you haven’t received treatment before, ERP exposure therapy is one of the most effective ways to treat ocd and is worth trying. Even if a therapist isn’t available you can research how the process works and set a plan to do exposures on your own and see if that helps

nae nae

Date posted: 24w

Afraid I won't recover

I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(

Lemon22

Date posted: 21w

Need help starting!!!!!

This my first post and frankly I am so scared. I was diagnosed with OCD as my first diagnosis, at only 10 years old. Ever since, my OCD has COMPLETELY overtaken my mind and actions. Im scared that if I ever get my OCD figured out and under control, I may loose a part of myself, because its so familiar to me and all Ive ever known. As someone who is ready to tackle their extreme OCD thinking, where should I start? I am open to any/all suggestions. PLEASE leave any advice that you recommend and that has benefited you in your own journey!!!! Thanks!

galina

Date posted: 16w

New here and want to connect

I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

I'm unable to feel okay but treatment scares me

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community