Are these ocd thoughts

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd. My theme has morphed since my symptoms started. I keep having reoccurring thoughts and images of documentaries and shows about serial killers/mass murders that I’ve watched in the past before all this and it never bothered me. When I get the thoughts I feel like it means that I’m gonna be just like them and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Yesterday it hit and all I did was sit on my living room couch, look at the wall, and do this tic thing I’ve done. I shake my head and either say no out loud or in my head. When I wake up I start to do this and continue to do it throughout the day with or without the thoughts. To me I feel like if I don’t do it then it means that I don’t have OCD. I feel like I’m faking all of it and it’s just an excuse to cover the fact that I’m truly like these people. I constantly see mental images of the faces of these killers and all I feel is pure dread. I look back to every mistake I made as a kid and think it proves that I’m a psychopath and that I’m absolutely ruined as a person. I keep thinking that I fake being a good person even though it’s genuinely who I strive to be no matter how I feel. I keep doubting every interaction or nice deed I’ve done for people and keep thinking it was all fake and it’s not me. I love seeing people happy and well and I’m so confused. I’m worried I’m being lured back to the phase I was in 3 weeks ago. I was in so much fear over this stuff I wasn’t eating, sleeping, socializing. The only thing I did was wake up, immediately get hit with the thoughts, Google, and repeat. My only break was when I was asleep. I love to sleep now for a reason. My dreams are normal and the thoughts/images aren’t there. Sometimes my dreams felt so real then I woke up and was hit with the reality (thoughts). At a point I agreed with myself that if any of these thoughts about harm/being a serial killer was true then I’d just end my life before I ever did anything to anyone. I don’t wanna die but if I’m really this horrible of person then I’ve got no good reason being here. I’ve been doing better than that for the past week or so but it still is there in my mind. When I start to feel optimistic or looking forward to something then it comes in. I love to cook and do crafts and when I do that stuff it tends to come in and I end up not finishing what I start. At times it comes down to getting dressed. When I find things I’d like to wear I sometimes get a thought or “voice” that goes something like “this is the outfit you’ll wear to commit a murder”. I’m so sick and tired of this stuff. When I go out it’s like “have your fun now but when you get back you’re gonna kill ur family and then go to jail for the rest of your life so enjoy your last day of freedom”. I feel like a narcissist or something writing this because I feel like I don’t have ocd because I’ve been doing better and don’t have the anxiety I used to over the thoughts. I’ve been diagnosed by 3 professionals including a psychologist and still can’t believe it because there’s times where I’m still productive and stuff. It’s still there but as of the past week it’s not as bad as it was three weeks ago. I just wish I could wake up and it just been over. I miss who I was 2 months ago before all of this started. It happened overnight on a vacation I was on and ever since I feel like a different person. I at times look to pictures of myself and life before all of it started. I miss it. Idk if my intrusive thoughts now about documentaries and shows about serial killers are even ocd. I’m freaked out. It keeps making me think I’m gonna do the horrible things they do even though I’d rather die before I hurt anyone. I HATE THIS!!!