Lost

I feel so clouded. I wish I could just stop thinking. I don’t even feel present around my daughter. I am acting the part, but my mind is so lost in my obsessions. Lately I am obsessing that my head pain is something more than it probably is. It’s all I think about. Constant fear of dying 24/7. Is this it? Is this the moment I keel over? What if my daughter isn’t safe? How do I keep her in a safe environment so if I do die, she’s okay until my husband gets home? 3 weeks of this, triggered by the stomach flu. Since THEN I’ve had the following obsessions: tobacco poisoning, stroke, csf leak, tumor, ms, colon cancer, and aneurysm. It’s hard to find joy. I’m just waiting until it’s over. But 3 weeks and I’m still in the trenches. How do I get out?

Username: nottodaybrainnottodaybrain

Date posted: 31w ago

With OCD, your brain likes to latch onto an idea sometimes for days and sometimes for weeks, this happens to me as well with certain ideas that pop up and never go away. Before this started, remember how you would felt about death, it wasn’t consistently on your mind. You cannot control what happens in the future but you can control your thoughts, whenever you start to feel like this remember that it is just a thought, not reality and let it sit with you instead of rationalizing or thinking about it. Whatever else that comes into your mind that can cause death, remmeber how your brain has latched onto this idea already and that this is just a thought that keeps giving you anxiety. Let it sit in your head and ease out on its own but don’t think further into them. Eventually your brain will naturally start to realize the threat isn’t there anymore and you’ll get less and less thoughts like these. They only remain when you let them remain, creating more thoughts (in this case, ideas of death) in the process.

Username: mkikimkiki

Date posted: 31w ago

@nottodaybrain Reading this through tears, thank you.

Username: Ocd9999Ocd9999

Date posted: 31w ago

I have this exact issue any little pain in my body I'm constantly thinking cancer. I'm worried about taking my blood pressure in case it's high and I get a heart attack. I think about brain aneurysms Parkinson als ms etc.

Username: mkikimkiki

Date posted: 31w ago

@Ocd9999 Exactly, and I never know if I should go to the doctors or not.

Username: jnothem

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so lost.

Hello, 3 weeks ago I experienced something that triggered horrible intrusive thoughts. I have been having 5-10 panic attacks every day. I can't leave the house and haven't been able to work. My relationship with my girlfriend is in distress as she has 2 young kids and doesn't understand what I am going through. I feel so alone. It wasn't until last Monday that my psychiatrist identified it as intrusive thoughts and now I am realizing how many other OCD symptoms I am having. I can't eat from my anxiety. I am so so sad. I just feel like this will never end and I am going to be in this black hole forever. All I do is worry about losing everything and everyone I love because of this.

Username: paylo28

Date posted: 1y ago

Health Anxiety/OCD

7 years ago I was a raging drug addict. I took any and all kinds of drugs without second thought of consequences. When I had my first child it’s like a switch flipped in my brain. Within her first 6 months of life I had over 12 visits to the ER. I was (still am) constantly afraid of developing a life threatening disease / illness or having a sudden health event (stroke / heart attack / heart failure / brain tumor / cancer ) develop. I’ve seen over 10 Specialist from autoimmune, heart, eyes, neurology , stomach , skin, etc. I’ve got a seemingly well bill of health but I become so hyper aware of every small change within my body. It’s. Constant state of fear and anxiety. Headache = likely tumor / aneurysm , small pain in chest or arm = heart problems , mild cold = covid or some rare disease , etc. Lately, my heart has been my fixation. I was having tachycardia going to the ER 2x a week. EKGs normal, 24hr monitor normal, X-RAY normal. Shortly after I notice my resting heart rate went down as low as 50bpm. I looked through my history over the months and that seems pretty normal for me I just hadn’t noticed before. Now I’ve been worried about my heart for weeks even tho my dr says I’m okay. It’s exhausting to be afraid of sickness and death 24/7. When I get focused on these thoughts it pulls me away from my kids and husband and daily tasks. I either full blown panic or shut down in fear. Anyone else relate? What helps you? I don’t want to rely on medications as I have so many adverse reactions to the 10+ I’ve tried! - oh year here’s another one - I’m afraid of allergic reactions as well I CONSTANTLY fear I will have an allergic reaction to medications / foods or over dose on things like Tylenol and Ibuprofen or mix meds and have reactions.

Username: Bridget11

Date posted: 39w ago

Feeling lost

I’m not 100% sure that I have OCD, but I do have PTSD and some new intrusive thoughts were triggered a couple weeks ago. It feels like they have changed my whole perception of my life since then. Every experience that should be fun or relaxing is tainted with the horrible dread I feel when these thoughts creep in. I was really enjoying my life for a while before these new thoughts started and it feels like I have lost contact with that version of myself and my life. I’m afraid of these thoughts tainting things that I want to stay good and pure. I’m just feeling really lost about how to soothe myself and dig out of this

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