Compulsions?

Do compulsions change? The onset of symptoms started a month ago and since then I’ve been diagnosed 3 times with ocd. 3 times because my anxiety got so bad that I was a psychopath that I had to make appointment after appointment with therapists/psychologist. Not even a psychologist telling me I wasn’t a psychopath was enough. Ig making the doctors appointments was a compulsion. Since I obtained these three separate diagnoses for ocd it seems to have calmed me. This is weird and now I’m doubting I have ocd. My day is still bombarded with thoughts and I believe I still have a compulsion but it’s not like I used to do. I used to Google 6+ hours daily when I was in my worst phase of it. I’m productive now but am avoidant of anything that has to do with serial killers, violent crimes on the news, and even some words that trigger me because they’re related to my themes. My most obvious compulsion or at least I think it it’s a compulsion is shaking my head and saying no either out loud or in my head. I do this subconsciously now when I do almost anything. I’m just used to it and I do it especially when the thoughts hit or if I’m triggered by anything I mentioned above. I doubt I have ocd because I’m not consumed and impaired like I was a few weeks ago because of it. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to that because it would ensure that it was just ocd even though it was hell and at one point had me thinking about suicide.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

I think compulsions can definitely change. Also, I do the same thing with trying to research and look things up to try to comfort myself, I figured out recently that that's a form of compulsion too, reassurance seeking. I'm in no way a mental health professional but as someone who's lived with ocd for close to two decades and is still learning more about it, it definitely sounds like you DO have ocd. Our brains just like to try to gaslight us.

Nica

Date posted: 1y

Yes, they will change. The more you give into your OCD, the worse it gets. Sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s subtle, but it doesn’t ever get better when you do compulsions and feed it.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

As someone who has pure OCD when I was younger, I thought I was a psychopath because of it. I didn’t know at the time but I had OCD and it made me feel like a horrible person. Please do not hurt yourself. It’s just an anxiety disorder you’re going to be OK but it is pretty tough one to get over. I was afraid I was going to hurt my family but to get over it I had to hang out with them anyway I was afraid I was gonna hurt my little sister then one day I hung out with her anyway and we don’t have a good relationship and I feel a lot better than I felt at that time, thinking that you don’t have OCD or worried the thought are not OCD is a very common thing for someone with pure ocd to be worrying the thoughts secretly true or you what to do sometimes horrible sadly. When you’re feeling up to it I highly recommend you look up exposure response. Well it is very stressful and will cause I’m excited it will help you break three of your OCD. I’ve been doing it and it’s helping me slowly with my OCD not enjoyable process though.

Wed_Wheel

Date posted: 22w

My SO OCD

I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?

Sexual Orientation OCD

eb123456789

Date posted: 21w

Medication Symptom Management

This is kind of a weird question, but I recently increased my SSRI dosage and have experienced tremendous relief. It has quieted my intrusive thoughts so much and my compulsions are no longer as all-consuming. However, I don’t want to be on this high of a dosage forever and know that medication alone shouldn’t be my only fix. I’m seeing a new psychiatrist on Wednesday and am wondering if the recent decrease in frequency of my symptoms will be a bar to my getting ocd treatment? In other words, if in this present moment I’m doing better, but up until a few days ago my compulsions were taking up pretty much every moment of my waking day, will I still be classified as having ocd? I start getting worried when I feel better that I don’t actually have ocd and just use it as a defense mechanism to avoid consequences of my actions/I’m secretly a terrible person

K1790

Date posted: 12w

Unsure if OCD sometimes

I was diagnosed with OCD around the age of 6, subtype- contamination primarily. It calmed down as I got older and I assumed it had gone away, but also didn’t realize it can show up in other ways, and it still had been effecting me which I know now. I’m not 31 and I’ve been in therapy for a year and it’s helped a lot, although I sometimes get thoughts that what if some of the stuff I’m dealing with isn’t ocd and I’m exaggerating. I feel like thoughts will feel sticky and I’ll do certain compulsions but then the thought eventually vanishes if I do it a few times which makes me think maybe it’s not OCD since other people/friends I know would probably do the exact same thing. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I guess my question is if that thought comes up with anyone else? Just being unsure if something you’re doing actually is ocd or not.

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